^^^^Pre-op.
^^^^^ Post-op.
Just thought i'd share. (: have a great day.<3
-ashley
www.twitter.com/ashleyohara_ (don't forget the underscore.. for some stupid reason it wont add it to the link.)
First blog dedicated to Weight Loss Surgery for teenagers. To my knowledge it's still the only one! We're also dedicated to teaching/spreading awareness about childhood obesity, metabolic conditions/diseases, healthy lifestyles, and anything in-between. (Started in May 2011)
Friday, March 30, 2012
Questions & Notes I took
http://i43.tinypic.com/zjw93a.jpg (if you click here, you can click on the picture and zoom in.. so it's easier to read.)
http://i39.tinypic.com/j5a3k5.jpg (if you click here, you can click on the picture and zoom in.. so it's easier to read.)
http://i43.tinypic.com/258t1kg.jpg (if you click here, you can click on the picture and zoom in.. so it's easier to read.)
There were more.. but I just found my old notebook from pre-op of notes/questions i had and took with me (and had answered) before i had bariatric surgery (VSG) so I thought I'd share.. maybe they'll give you things to think about, that you didn't think about before.
I didn't write much in the notebook other than questions, and lists of things to get.. (that most i ended up not getting or needing...)
But yeah. (: byee<3
-ashley
www.facebook.com/justashley1637
www.twitter.com/ashleyohara_ (don't forget the underscore.. it wont add into the link for some reason.)
ashleyellen1637@aol.com
6 month post-op bloodwork..
Here were all my lab results.. I'm starting to make sure I get a copy of everything (and I mean everything.. even the research stuff.) when I go to these appointments (and appointments with my endocrinologist..)
Everyone (well, all of my doctors) know I have this blog.. and they're usually pretty leniant (is that the word..?) with me.. Haha.
Next time I see my endocrinologist I'm gonig to ask if she can write down, or show me so i can write down, (or just print off the graph there is on the computer..) of my bmi over the years and all these different things they've showed me over the years.. i forgot to ask last time i was there.
But yeah. here it is!! i'm pretty sure if you click on the pictures, you can enlarge it all or zoom in to see clear-er. (: [actually, I just found out you can't zoom.. so i'm going to add links to the pictures below each one.. if you click on it the picture will come up.... and if you click on the picture, it'll zoom and you can read it all.]
Everyone (well, all of my doctors) know I have this blog.. and they're usually pretty leniant (is that the word..?) with me.. Haha.
Next time I see my endocrinologist I'm gonig to ask if she can write down, or show me so i can write down, (or just print off the graph there is on the computer..) of my bmi over the years and all these different things they've showed me over the years.. i forgot to ask last time i was there.
But yeah. here it is!! i'm pretty sure if you click on the pictures, you can enlarge it all or zoom in to see clear-er. (: [actually, I just found out you can't zoom.. so i'm going to add links to the pictures below each one.. if you click on it the picture will come up.... and if you click on the picture, it'll zoom and you can read it all.]
Haha alright.. Yeah. That's about it. Just thought I'd share.. I'm not entirely sure what half of this means... I mean, I have a basic understanding.. (I didn't at first.. I called my mom who is an RN who helped me out.. but what she didn't know, i just googled, or asked my endocrine when I saw her.. lol) But a lot of it is still foreign to me.. obviously.. i've never been to med school or in any advanced science/biology/chemistry classes or anything.. lol.
well yeah. I'm gonna go now. (:
Bye.<3
-Ashley
www.twitter.com/ashleyohara_ (don't forget the underscore.. for some reason it wasn't added into the link.. :P but yeah.. the twitter isn't just for this.. its my personal. majority of what i tweet about is music.. but i'll put it anyway.)
feel free to email me at ashleyellen1637@aol.com (I really should actually make an email specifically for this.. but its my personal) if anyone has any questions or concerns or suggestions for/about my blog, or anything related to it... Or just hit me up on facebook. (:
Have a great day. <3
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
it is possible to be born with insulin resistance
I would also like to point out I had a big question of mine answered today: "Is it possible to be born with insulin resistance...? And could I have been?" Because i showed symptoms at such a young age.. I've always assumed I was born with it.. but no one would ever confirm that for me untill today.. Where my endocrin said "Yes It's possible. and They havent identified a gene yet, but it's possible.."then she went on to ask what my birth weight was.. (8lbs 7oz i believe.. and i was like 21in long..?) and she said "yep.. that's it." my mom went on to ask about why my brothers are fine then.. they were all about the same weight/height.. But it's different for boys and girls.. Girls born that heavy.. aparently thats a tell tale sign of it. especially with such familial history.
So my questions have been answered. Thankyou thankyou thankyou.
If i find a foundation that is researching this.. or if anyone knwos of any that is checking babies for insulin resistance.. early onset obesity.. anything... Let me know.. I will donate as much money as I can to it.. And do as much as i can to support it..
They have made so mmuch progress in the past 8 years... When I was a baby everyone assumed my parents just fed me wrong so i was overweight... But that wasn't the case and everyone that knew my family knew it... And this would explain so much.
Anyone who says obesity is only a lifestyle disease or that insulin resistance isn't real canshove it up their shut up.. they don't know what they're takling about..
I wont name any names... But a few of my family members assume type 2 diabetes and insulin resistance are the same thing... and have flat out told me when i was younger that i aws only depressed because i was fat, visa versa... and assumed that just working out would fix everything... Because aparently I was just lazy and drugs are overrated.
Yeah. Education is the only cure for ignorance.. Educate yourselves.
Which reminds me. I need to find a new site to do this on, because they are far too expensive for my liking.. I may just start doing them myeslf.. but check out the 'merchandise' tab on the right side of my blogpage... i'm really trying to spread awareness about this. There are like 8 or 9 things there i think.. maybe 10.. that have a design i made on them. Spreading awareness about childhood/adolescent obesity and how it's not always a lifestyle disease. so check it out, and if you can do it, that's great. if not, thats fine. but still. let people know. don't just assume people do. because there is a good chance they don't.
Alright. I shall be researching this more now. <3
Bye. (:;
-ashley.
So my questions have been answered. Thankyou thankyou thankyou.
If i find a foundation that is researching this.. or if anyone knwos of any that is checking babies for insulin resistance.. early onset obesity.. anything... Let me know.. I will donate as much money as I can to it.. And do as much as i can to support it..
They have made so mmuch progress in the past 8 years... When I was a baby everyone assumed my parents just fed me wrong so i was overweight... But that wasn't the case and everyone that knew my family knew it... And this would explain so much.
Anyone who says obesity is only a lifestyle disease or that insulin resistance isn't real can
I wont name any names... But a few of my family members assume type 2 diabetes and insulin resistance are the same thing... and have flat out told me when i was younger that i aws only depressed because i was fat, visa versa... and assumed that just working out would fix everything... Because aparently I was just lazy and drugs are overrated.
Yeah. Education is the only cure for ignorance.. Educate yourselves.
Which reminds me. I need to find a new site to do this on, because they are far too expensive for my liking.. I may just start doing them myeslf.. but check out the 'merchandise' tab on the right side of my blogpage... i'm really trying to spread awareness about this. There are like 8 or 9 things there i think.. maybe 10.. that have a design i made on them. Spreading awareness about childhood/adolescent obesity and how it's not always a lifestyle disease. so check it out, and if you can do it, that's great. if not, thats fine. but still. let people know. don't just assume people do. because there is a good chance they don't.
Alright. I shall be researching this more now. <3
Bye. (:;
-ashley.
Update - march 2012
So I went to my wonderful Endocrinologist today.. and she confirmed I'm not diabetic anymore. Still Insulin Resistant, but not Type 2... So that kind of made my day. (: But my face has been breaking out pretty badly....
But yeah. What I found out today: I'm still hyperinsulinemic(is that the word.. i still over produce insulin.. my insulin levels have gone from 25 (preop) to 18 now... but they're still pretty high. my hemaglobin A1c is down.. and everything that goes along with diabetesispretty much down i guess other than the insulin piece. So.. I'm not diabetic anymore. (: She's going to run another glucose tolerance test.. but not untill i see her again in four months.
Reason behind that being: She increased my metformin from 500 2x a day to 850 2x a day. and put me back on aldactone. a blood pressure medicine. my blood pressure isn't nearly as bad as it was in the past... my top number was a little elevated today.. (I hadn't slept... I'm assuming that's partially why.) but it's also a mild diuretic.. and the last time i was on it my skin was perfectly clear, and i lost mad weight... so we'll see what that + the higher dose of metformin does. Hopefully it helps some.
Hm. What else... Oh! she showed me a chart... of mybmi from the time i had been first diagnosed (6-7 years old..) my bmi was 26... at 7 years old... I'm at a bmi of like 36/37 now.. I should be at a bmi of around 26 right now... but I'm 16... a 7 year old with that bmi is terrible...
Doctors told my mom I wouldn't make it to my 40th birthday, when i was that little, if they didn't get it under control.... and now I am. It's amazing how things can change.
I'm going to be honest... I love my endocrinologist. She's the one who sent the referral for me to have weight loss surgery... And I think with her I would have been able to lose a lot of the weight on my own (as i did pre-op..) that i have with surgery.. And my surgeon even knew that.. (not the endocrine piece.. but that i had lost a lot of weight on my own for the first time in my life..) and asked if i was sure i wanted to still have surgery.. and why? My answer to that is it's permanent. It is a tool that will help jump start everything, and my stomach will most likely never be the size it was again... So if i ever do fall off track.. (hopefully that doesn't happen) it'll be there t ohelp me. and yeah.. the word permanent stuck out in my mind. ---- But out of allll the doctors I've seen my entire life she is the one who ran all the tests as a teenager.. once the problem got really out of hand.. she put me on higher doses of meds than I've ever been on in my life.. and in turn, i lost weight. Something I was never really capable of doing.. No matter how much I exercised and restricted my diet. So I have her to thank for all ofthis.
People always say I"m the one who did it all... I'm the one who has worked for it.. But I cuoldn't be here without the doctors... I do have them to thank. I can't write the medications for myself.. and the lifestyle changes i made when i was really little (and even since surgery) wouldn't have the effects of what they've done for me... not even just the drugs, but really getting it through my head and teaching me what's going on.. so if any of you ever see this blog, thank you.
-----
So yep... drugs i'm on now:
Zantac 150mg 2x a day.
Altavera birth controll 1x a day.
Metformin 850mg 2x a day.
Aldactone 50mg 2x a day.
Synthroid 50mg 2x a day.
Multivitamin 2x a day.
Calcium Citrate 250mg 4x a day (or 500 2x a day)
Vitamin D 1000ui 1x a day
B12 shot 1x a month.
It seems like a lot.. but it could be a hell of a lot worse.
I'm exercising about 1 hour a day.. sometimes a little less.. sometimes i miss a day.. but it's been pretty consistent.. now that it's warmer i'm actually enjoying it a lot more. (:
alright. well i'm gonna go now. have a great day!
-Ashley.
www.facebook.com/justashley1637
www.twitter.com/justashley1637
ashleyellen1637@aol.com
Oh, and here is the paper I got at the appt. (:
Not the most attractive picture.. But most of the pictures on this blog arent. Metabolic issues have a lot of physical side effects that arent attractive, unfortunatley. And I guarantee you the flash on my camera made my skin look better than it is... I purpously didn't wear any makeup today so my endocrin could see how bad my skin was. I guess I usually do my makeup REALLY well.. and it's even fooled some of my doctors in the past..
Reason behind that being: She increased my metformin from 500 2x a day to 850 2x a day. and put me back on aldactone. a blood pressure medicine. my blood pressure isn't nearly as bad as it was in the past... my top number was a little elevated today.. (I hadn't slept... I'm assuming that's partially why.) but it's also a mild diuretic.. and the last time i was on it my skin was perfectly clear, and i lost mad weight... so we'll see what that + the higher dose of metformin does. Hopefully it helps some.
Hm. What else... Oh! she showed me a chart... of mybmi from the time i had been first diagnosed (6-7 years old..) my bmi was 26... at 7 years old... I'm at a bmi of like 36/37 now.. I should be at a bmi of around 26 right now... but I'm 16... a 7 year old with that bmi is terrible...
Doctors told my mom I wouldn't make it to my 40th birthday, when i was that little, if they didn't get it under control.... and now I am. It's amazing how things can change.
I'm going to be honest... I love my endocrinologist. She's the one who sent the referral for me to have weight loss surgery... And I think with her I would have been able to lose a lot of the weight on my own (as i did pre-op..) that i have with surgery.. And my surgeon even knew that.. (not the endocrine piece.. but that i had lost a lot of weight on my own for the first time in my life..) and asked if i was sure i wanted to still have surgery.. and why? My answer to that is it's permanent. It is a tool that will help jump start everything, and my stomach will most likely never be the size it was again... So if i ever do fall off track.. (hopefully that doesn't happen) it'll be there t ohelp me. and yeah.. the word permanent stuck out in my mind. ---- But out of allll the doctors I've seen my entire life she is the one who ran all the tests as a teenager.. once the problem got really out of hand.. she put me on higher doses of meds than I've ever been on in my life.. and in turn, i lost weight. Something I was never really capable of doing.. No matter how much I exercised and restricted my diet. So I have her to thank for all ofthis.
People always say I"m the one who did it all... I'm the one who has worked for it.. But I cuoldn't be here without the doctors... I do have them to thank. I can't write the medications for myself.. and the lifestyle changes i made when i was really little (and even since surgery) wouldn't have the effects of what they've done for me... not even just the drugs, but really getting it through my head and teaching me what's going on.. so if any of you ever see this blog, thank you.
-----
So yep... drugs i'm on now:
Zantac 150mg 2x a day.
Altavera birth controll 1x a day.
Metformin 850mg 2x a day.
Aldactone 50mg 2x a day.
Synthroid 50mg 2x a day.
Multivitamin 2x a day.
Calcium Citrate 250mg 4x a day (or 500 2x a day)
Vitamin D 1000ui 1x a day
B12 shot 1x a month.
It seems like a lot.. but it could be a hell of a lot worse.
I'm exercising about 1 hour a day.. sometimes a little less.. sometimes i miss a day.. but it's been pretty consistent.. now that it's warmer i'm actually enjoying it a lot more. (:
alright. well i'm gonna go now. have a great day!
-Ashley.
www.facebook.com/justashley1637
www.twitter.com/justashley1637
ashleyellen1637@aol.com
Oh, and here is the paper I got at the appt. (:
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I would just like to point out that...
The absolute best form of exersize that I've found since surgery (aside from swimming which I don't have the chance to do very often..) is playing with little kids.
There are a lot of kids in my neighborhood. They always used to want me to play soccer with them, because (not to be cocky or anything but...) i was pretty good when i played..t hen the weight got too much and blood prsesure and depression and i just quit. Well i'm about at the weight i was when i quit.
The other day I was outside taking pictures and they asked me to play.. So i actually did.. o.O it's been getting nice out.. so i figured hell, why not.
I played for a good 45 minutes to an hour straight. Street soccer. not a ton of start and stopping... and i've done that every day this week so far... today I played 'knockout' (a basketball game..) that i havent played since elementry school. and actually won once... and that went on for about 40 minutes straight then i quit because i wanted to take pictures.. not because i couldn't play anymore..
This is honestly like.. amazing.
If you have the privelege of having a bunch of obnoxious little kids in your neighborhood, or little siblings or cousins or anything, that liek to play outside... go for it! you may feel stupid playing with little kids (i know i do) but then when people ask just say your good with kids. they begged you to play. it doesn't even seem like exersize untill you realize your sweating and y our face is red and your heart is pounding in your chest, haha.
Alright. That will be all. <3 (:
have a great day!
-ashley.
www.twitter.com/justashley1637
www.facebook.com/justashley1637
ashleyellen1637@aol.com
There are a lot of kids in my neighborhood. They always used to want me to play soccer with them, because (not to be cocky or anything but...) i was pretty good when i played..t hen the weight got too much and blood prsesure and depression and i just quit. Well i'm about at the weight i was when i quit.
The other day I was outside taking pictures and they asked me to play.. So i actually did.. o.O it's been getting nice out.. so i figured hell, why not.
I played for a good 45 minutes to an hour straight. Street soccer. not a ton of start and stopping... and i've done that every day this week so far... today I played 'knockout' (a basketball game..) that i havent played since elementry school. and actually won once... and that went on for about 40 minutes straight then i quit because i wanted to take pictures.. not because i couldn't play anymore..
This is honestly like.. amazing.
If you have the privelege of having a bunch of obnoxious little kids in your neighborhood, or little siblings or cousins or anything, that liek to play outside... go for it! you may feel stupid playing with little kids (i know i do) but then when people ask just say your good with kids. they begged you to play. it doesn't even seem like exersize untill you realize your sweating and y our face is red and your heart is pounding in your chest, haha.
Alright. That will be all. <3 (:
have a great day!
-ashley.
www.twitter.com/justashley1637
www.facebook.com/justashley1637
ashleyellen1637@aol.com
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Bari Wise Protein Cappucino Review!
I'm not a big coffee person.. But these are pretty great... My 13 year old brother likes them too. (when he slugs down 3 dr peppers a day, its surprizing he likes something with only three grams of sugar.)
I don't believe there is any caffeine in them, but the taste is stil there.. and it's one of the vew protein drinks i've found that you can drink, hot, that dont like.. curdle up.
http://www.dietdirect.com/bari-wise-health-hot-cappuccinos.html
I really like bari-wise.. a lot of their stuff is really good. (: Definatley check out diet direct.. the stuff is a little on the pricier side.. if you can get it, i definatley say go for it. I got a lot of stuff free, from a really great lady i met on obesity help when i was a more recent post-op... literally a massive box full of stuff. So i've gone through and tried all of it.. most of it was really good. there were a few things i didn't like so much, but you'll have that with anything.
I've gone back and ordered more of the fruit drinks, cappucinos, and one type of protein bar (which will be next to be reviewed... its amazing.) and there is a ton more i want to try.
but yeah. if you like coffee, and need protein. this is amazing.. 90 callories, 4 carbs, 2-4 grams of sugar depending on the type (i've only tried the original.. i'm sure the others are great too) and 15 grams of protein...
(:
have a great day.
-ashley
www.twitter.com/justashley1637
www.facebook.com/justashley1637
I don't believe there is any caffeine in them, but the taste is stil there.. and it's one of the vew protein drinks i've found that you can drink, hot, that dont like.. curdle up.
http://www.dietdirect.com/bari-wise-health-hot-cappuccinos.html
I really like bari-wise.. a lot of their stuff is really good. (: Definatley check out diet direct.. the stuff is a little on the pricier side.. if you can get it, i definatley say go for it. I got a lot of stuff free, from a really great lady i met on obesity help when i was a more recent post-op... literally a massive box full of stuff. So i've gone through and tried all of it.. most of it was really good. there were a few things i didn't like so much, but you'll have that with anything.
I've gone back and ordered more of the fruit drinks, cappucinos, and one type of protein bar (which will be next to be reviewed... its amazing.) and there is a ton more i want to try.
but yeah. if you like coffee, and need protein. this is amazing.. 90 callories, 4 carbs, 2-4 grams of sugar depending on the type (i've only tried the original.. i'm sure the others are great too) and 15 grams of protein...
(:
have a great day.
-ashley
www.twitter.com/justashley1637
www.facebook.com/justashley1637
Today is National Self Harm Awareness Day.
I just want to talk about this for a few minutes... I'm not sure where to begin.
People have their own reasons to be upset... Everyone has reasons. Their significance to anyone else is irrelevant. All that matters ishow it makes them feel. That could be something like breaking up with your girlfriend/boyfriend, or something like your grandmother just died of cancer... Either way, depending on the person, it could seem like the end of the world. You never know what is just enough to push someone over the edge.. You never know what reasoning someone may come up with to defend their actions or how they deal with grief or depression..
The mind is a really powerful thing... Ever heard of the phrase "Mind over matter"..? or "Psychosomatic"..? basically meaning.. your mind controlls all. It can even create physical symptoms to show something, that physically doesn't exist.. Example: a woman who really wants to have a baby, can eventuallyd evlope symptoms of a baby.. morning sickness, bloating, a hard stomach, even to the point of feeling little kicks... and doctors cuold believe it is that she's pregnant.. untill they do an ultrasound, and there is no baby there.
Mental illnesses, are real illnesses. Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, Skitzophrenia, Anorexica, Bullimia, and anything inbetween.. And no matter the persons past, present, or the unknown future.. a person can develop feelings of hopelessness, helplesness, apathy, depression, anxiousness, anything.. and then it just goes from there...
Now, obviously not everyone has a diagnosis that needs treatment.. But if itgoes on too long? It definatley can progressivley get worse..
What does this have to do with my blog?
It all ties in together... Kids and Teenagers aren't immune to this... Have you seen the news lately? There are shootings. Kids who get bullied, shooting the people who bullied them.. It is a SERIOUS issue, that really needs tobe addressed..
This could have absolutely nothing to do with bullying. It could have absolutely nothing to do with anything, and the person just lacks endorphins. or 'happy chemicals'...
People need to be more understanding... Look at this: http://news.yahoo.com/disneys-epcot-retooling-childhood-obesity-exhibit-critics-insensitive-190811575.html
This is absolutely appauling to me... I applaud the doctors who stepped up and enlightened these ignorant people, with the knowledge that they have.
Eating disorders don't only affect skinny people. Depression doesn't only affect people who wear dark clothes and makeup. Anxiety doesn't only affect the kids who sit in the corner of the class room alone. Skitzophrenia doesn't only affect the people that are fascinated with art and zone out a lot.. People who self harm don't always wear tons of bracelets and long sleeves.. They don't always want attention. People battling bipolar, you don't always see the mood swings.. --- none of that means the people have it either! there are people who are skinny that arent anroexic, there are people who wear dark clothes that arent depressed. There are kids who sit alone int he corner who don't have anxiety issues, and there are people who are really into art and zone out a lot, that don't have skitzophrenia.
You can NEVER know a persons story... ever!
Would you guess by looking at me that I battled depression and anxiety, I cut myself, and starved myself? Most likely not.. Yes. I wear dark clothes a lot of the time and sit alone a lot of the time... but i'm also overweight and typically back when i did harm myself, i hid it pretty well.. it wasn't obvious i was trying to hide anything.
I'm ten months self harm free, now. I havent skipped a meal (on purpous) since before I started planning to have weight loss surgery... I have been off of anti depressants since August, and I still have some issues with Anxiety.... But not nearly as bad as it was... I don't think that will ever completely go away, though.
Some peopel assume because I don't have a good relationship with my mother, and whenever it's brought up i get super quiet and zone out a little, that i'm really depressed.. When I don't feel that I am. Everyone has off days.. mine just happen to happen when i'm in nerve-wracking situations... Where it makes me look bad.
Other than those days? I'm doing absolutely fantastic.. I'm getting out more. I went toget information on registering for classes at a community college yesteryda, and i'm gonig to drivers ed... I'm looking for a job, volunteering, blogging, getting out more... After four years of being ridiculously depressed and feelign helpless... Isuddenly don't feel helpless anymore... What do I contribute that to?
Things are getting better: Family issues that have presented themselves inthe past are (slowly) working their way over... things will never be what they were.. but they're easier to deal with now..
I don't feel sick... When I had my bmi closer to 50... I would get panic attacks even just taking a shower.. Because I felt so confined in my own skin.. I took u pso much space and i would just freak out and get sick... feeling like I was going to pass out.. my blood pressure and blood sugars were all messed up... and now since i've lost weight? my bmi is closer to 35? i don't feel that way anymore.. my blood pressure and blood sugars are normal.. I don't feel claustraphobic anymore..
Witht he weight loss, you lose fat.. fat holds extra hormognes that can really mess with your head... losing that i'm assuming has a lot to do with it..
I stopped cutting myself when I started going to doctors about weight loss surgery.. I knew i wouldn't be approved, if they saw cuts on my arm.. I remember one of the first consultations i went to, i had makeup and bracelets on my wrist.. desperate for no one to see it.. I remeber the last time I did.. it was like a week before my initial consultation.. after that went well... and I found out insurance aws going along with everything... I saw hope... Nothing was going to be able to fix my familys problems... but if i could get healthier? lose weight? something i have never been able to do? i wanted to take advantage of it... So on the 27th on february, i was officially 10 months SH free... and I now have a tattoo covering where i harmed myself... of a quotei have always believed in.
I stopped starving myself, when I realized I was only gaining weight.. I was goinginto staravation mode, and my body didn't lose anything.. it retained everything.. I got to my highest weight ever (285lbs) that way... i lost it pretty quickly, when doctors ajusted my meds and i started eating smaller meals more frequently... before I went to look into WLS.... My reasoning behind the starving myself was a last resort.. i was tired of diets not working and exersize failing... i thought maybe it'd work... it just made everything worse...
I've learned a lot over the past few years... I've been to a lot of counselors and psychiatrists.. I've been to schools, speccifically for people with mental illnesses.. (everything from skitzophrenia to autism..) and met a lot of those people.. talked tothem.. But why do those schools exist? Because regular schools arent equiped to deal with it.. as sad asthat is.. so theyd ecide to make the kids feel more like outsiders, by creating extra 'special' schools for us to go to.
You don't know a person just by looking at them. You don't know what they're battling. How they're feeling.. anything about them, really. unless they decide to open up to you.. you will never know.
Today is alsso Justin biebers 18th birthday.. its sad that that is getting more attention than self harm aawareness. You can see what society prioritizes, right?
*sigh*
Bullying shouldn't happen. Schools should educate themselves on how to deal with peopel with mental illnesses, rather than making the children feel even more like outsiders..
Self harm isn't a joke. Its serious. Some of the people who seem the happiest to you, could be fighting this. Depression isn't a joke. Anxiety isn't a joke. no mental illness is a joke. they are all real illnesses, and if you think otherwise, you are ignorant..
Instead of building EXHIBITS focusing on stereotypes of childhood obesity, disney should put the money towards educating about childhood obesity and not just the lifestyle factors.. what the genecits role plays in it all, and medications, and coping mechanisms... Same goes for everything else.. Education is the only cure for ignorance.
I'm not saying that in a negative way.. Its the truth. Education is the only way to get through to people..
Educate yourselves, so youcan look out for the people you love and care about. And if peopel were smart, there wouldn't just be one day for heart disease, one day for veterans day, one day for breast cacner, one day for self harm awareness..
Spreading awareness for things you are passionate about, should be daily. Not just once a year when all the attention is drawn to it on social networking sites. Or else people will never get the message.
Get the picture?
Let your loved ones know you love them. Life is too short.
Note to anyone battling any form of mental illness: It gets better.. If i've been able to overcome what I have, you can too. Anyone can. You just need to find the right motivation.. Everything will work itself out eventually.. I believe everything happens for a reason.. Although we may never know what that reason may be.. I believe it's there. I know it's hard to live life with no regrets, but it can't hurt to try.. Because the past isthe past, and you can't change it. but you're in controll of your own future. Find motivation. Wether it be art, or you want to continue fighting it all because you want to have a family one ady and make sure the children never have to go through what you do... because you want to be there for your little siblings... because you have goals you want to accomnplish... you want to help other people, you want to be a musician, a writer... you want to create your own business one day.. think about your dreams and what you wuold accomplish if you knew you couldn't fail.. and focus on that.. let that be your motivation... nothing is impossible. andnothing is 100%guaranteed. Don't wasite your life being depressed. create memories for yourself that you'll be able to look back on and smile at. It's worth it, I promise.
Have a Great day. <3
-Ashley
www.twitter.com/justashley1637
People have their own reasons to be upset... Everyone has reasons. Their significance to anyone else is irrelevant. All that matters ishow it makes them feel. That could be something like breaking up with your girlfriend/boyfriend, or something like your grandmother just died of cancer... Either way, depending on the person, it could seem like the end of the world. You never know what is just enough to push someone over the edge.. You never know what reasoning someone may come up with to defend their actions or how they deal with grief or depression..
The mind is a really powerful thing... Ever heard of the phrase "Mind over matter"..? or "Psychosomatic"..? basically meaning.. your mind controlls all. It can even create physical symptoms to show something, that physically doesn't exist.. Example: a woman who really wants to have a baby, can eventuallyd evlope symptoms of a baby.. morning sickness, bloating, a hard stomach, even to the point of feeling little kicks... and doctors cuold believe it is that she's pregnant.. untill they do an ultrasound, and there is no baby there.
Mental illnesses, are real illnesses. Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, Skitzophrenia, Anorexica, Bullimia, and anything inbetween.. And no matter the persons past, present, or the unknown future.. a person can develop feelings of hopelessness, helplesness, apathy, depression, anxiousness, anything.. and then it just goes from there...
Now, obviously not everyone has a diagnosis that needs treatment.. But if itgoes on too long? It definatley can progressivley get worse..
What does this have to do with my blog?
It all ties in together... Kids and Teenagers aren't immune to this... Have you seen the news lately? There are shootings. Kids who get bullied, shooting the people who bullied them.. It is a SERIOUS issue, that really needs tobe addressed..
This could have absolutely nothing to do with bullying. It could have absolutely nothing to do with anything, and the person just lacks endorphins. or 'happy chemicals'...
People need to be more understanding... Look at this: http://news.yahoo.com/disneys-epcot-retooling-childhood-obesity-exhibit-critics-insensitive-190811575.html
"ORLANDO, Fla. - Walt Disney World is retooling an Epcot exhibit on childhood obesity after critics complained it was insensitive to obese kids and reinforced stereotypes.
The interactive exhibit, Habit Heroes, featured animated fitness superheros Will Power and Callie Stenics and super-sized villains Snacker and Lead Bottom, who eat junk food and watch too much television. Critics said the exhibit reinforces stereotypes that obese children are lazy and have poor eating habits.
Doctors say obesity can sometimes be attributed to genetics and certain medications, and food can be used as a coping mechanism.
"We're appalled to learn that Disney, a traditional hallmark of childhood happiness and joy, has fallen under the shadow of negativity and discrimination," the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance said in a statement.
"I was really disturbed to see the most negative habits were attached to really fat bodies," Peggy Howell, a spokeswoman for the group, said after viewing a companion website. "These pictures further the stigma against people of higher body weight." ------
Eating disorders don't only affect skinny people. Depression doesn't only affect people who wear dark clothes and makeup. Anxiety doesn't only affect the kids who sit in the corner of the class room alone. Skitzophrenia doesn't only affect the people that are fascinated with art and zone out a lot.. People who self harm don't always wear tons of bracelets and long sleeves.. They don't always want attention. People battling bipolar, you don't always see the mood swings.. --- none of that means the people have it either! there are people who are skinny that arent anroexic, there are people who wear dark clothes that arent depressed. There are kids who sit alone int he corner who don't have anxiety issues, and there are people who are really into art and zone out a lot, that don't have skitzophrenia.
You can NEVER know a persons story... ever!
Would you guess by looking at me that I battled depression and anxiety, I cut myself, and starved myself? Most likely not.. Yes. I wear dark clothes a lot of the time and sit alone a lot of the time... but i'm also overweight and typically back when i did harm myself, i hid it pretty well.. it wasn't obvious i was trying to hide anything.
I'm ten months self harm free, now. I havent skipped a meal (on purpous) since before I started planning to have weight loss surgery... I have been off of anti depressants since August, and I still have some issues with Anxiety.... But not nearly as bad as it was... I don't think that will ever completely go away, though.
Some peopel assume because I don't have a good relationship with my mother, and whenever it's brought up i get super quiet and zone out a little, that i'm really depressed.. When I don't feel that I am. Everyone has off days.. mine just happen to happen when i'm in nerve-wracking situations... Where it makes me look bad.
Other than those days? I'm doing absolutely fantastic.. I'm getting out more. I went toget information on registering for classes at a community college yesteryda, and i'm gonig to drivers ed... I'm looking for a job, volunteering, blogging, getting out more... After four years of being ridiculously depressed and feelign helpless... Isuddenly don't feel helpless anymore... What do I contribute that to?
Things are getting better: Family issues that have presented themselves inthe past are (slowly) working their way over... things will never be what they were.. but they're easier to deal with now..
I don't feel sick... When I had my bmi closer to 50... I would get panic attacks even just taking a shower.. Because I felt so confined in my own skin.. I took u pso much space and i would just freak out and get sick... feeling like I was going to pass out.. my blood pressure and blood sugars were all messed up... and now since i've lost weight? my bmi is closer to 35? i don't feel that way anymore.. my blood pressure and blood sugars are normal.. I don't feel claustraphobic anymore..
Witht he weight loss, you lose fat.. fat holds extra hormognes that can really mess with your head... losing that i'm assuming has a lot to do with it..
I stopped cutting myself when I started going to doctors about weight loss surgery.. I knew i wouldn't be approved, if they saw cuts on my arm.. I remember one of the first consultations i went to, i had makeup and bracelets on my wrist.. desperate for no one to see it.. I remeber the last time I did.. it was like a week before my initial consultation.. after that went well... and I found out insurance aws going along with everything... I saw hope... Nothing was going to be able to fix my familys problems... but if i could get healthier? lose weight? something i have never been able to do? i wanted to take advantage of it... So on the 27th on february, i was officially 10 months SH free... and I now have a tattoo covering where i harmed myself... of a quotei have always believed in.
I stopped starving myself, when I realized I was only gaining weight.. I was goinginto staravation mode, and my body didn't lose anything.. it retained everything.. I got to my highest weight ever (285lbs) that way... i lost it pretty quickly, when doctors ajusted my meds and i started eating smaller meals more frequently... before I went to look into WLS.... My reasoning behind the starving myself was a last resort.. i was tired of diets not working and exersize failing... i thought maybe it'd work... it just made everything worse...
I've learned a lot over the past few years... I've been to a lot of counselors and psychiatrists.. I've been to schools, speccifically for people with mental illnesses.. (everything from skitzophrenia to autism..) and met a lot of those people.. talked tothem.. But why do those schools exist? Because regular schools arent equiped to deal with it.. as sad asthat is.. so theyd ecide to make the kids feel more like outsiders, by creating extra 'special' schools for us to go to.
You don't know a person just by looking at them. You don't know what they're battling. How they're feeling.. anything about them, really. unless they decide to open up to you.. you will never know.
Today is alsso Justin biebers 18th birthday.. its sad that that is getting more attention than self harm aawareness. You can see what society prioritizes, right?
*sigh*
Bullying shouldn't happen. Schools should educate themselves on how to deal with peopel with mental illnesses, rather than making the children feel even more like outsiders..
Self harm isn't a joke. Its serious. Some of the people who seem the happiest to you, could be fighting this. Depression isn't a joke. Anxiety isn't a joke. no mental illness is a joke. they are all real illnesses, and if you think otherwise, you are ignorant..
Instead of building EXHIBITS focusing on stereotypes of childhood obesity, disney should put the money towards educating about childhood obesity and not just the lifestyle factors.. what the genecits role plays in it all, and medications, and coping mechanisms... Same goes for everything else.. Education is the only cure for ignorance.
I'm not saying that in a negative way.. Its the truth. Education is the only way to get through to people..
Educate yourselves, so youcan look out for the people you love and care about. And if peopel were smart, there wouldn't just be one day for heart disease, one day for veterans day, one day for breast cacner, one day for self harm awareness..
Spreading awareness for things you are passionate about, should be daily. Not just once a year when all the attention is drawn to it on social networking sites. Or else people will never get the message.
Get the picture?
Let your loved ones know you love them. Life is too short.
Note to anyone battling any form of mental illness: It gets better.. If i've been able to overcome what I have, you can too. Anyone can. You just need to find the right motivation.. Everything will work itself out eventually.. I believe everything happens for a reason.. Although we may never know what that reason may be.. I believe it's there. I know it's hard to live life with no regrets, but it can't hurt to try.. Because the past isthe past, and you can't change it. but you're in controll of your own future. Find motivation. Wether it be art, or you want to continue fighting it all because you want to have a family one ady and make sure the children never have to go through what you do... because you want to be there for your little siblings... because you have goals you want to accomnplish... you want to help other people, you want to be a musician, a writer... you want to create your own business one day.. think about your dreams and what you wuold accomplish if you knew you couldn't fail.. and focus on that.. let that be your motivation... nothing is impossible. andnothing is 100%guaranteed. Don't wasite your life being depressed. create memories for yourself that you'll be able to look back on and smile at. It's worth it, I promise.
Have a Great day. <3
-Ashley
www.twitter.com/justashley1637
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