Surgery Update! 18 months post-op.

Okay... I've been really bad at updating this lately. I'll try to get back into it, I promise! Haha.

I'll be 18 months post-op (VSG) in a week or two. I have my 18month follow-up appointment on February 21st. It's been a crazy year and a half... things are constantly changing.

My medications have changed a lot, a bunch of different times, after surgery. Weight wise, I go through stalls like every month.. but then i drop five pounds then i go through another stall.. Which I guess I'm okay with. It's better than nothing. I'm glad i'm still losing, because for awhile right after surgery I didn't lose anything because of medication issues.

Highest weight ever: 285lbs in 2010.
Weight on day of surgery: (08-19-2011) 250lbs
Weight today: (2-7-13) 185lbs.

So, I've lost 100lbs. Some of that pre-surgery, some post-op.. I'm not at my goal weight yet. I still have 40 pounds or so to go. I really hope I get there, asap. I've been working for this so long, I just really want to be there.

I don't want my life to focus around the number on the scale, so I try not to focus on that too much anymore.. Because I am healthier than I have been in a long time. But it's hard not to, when my entire life up until this point has been focused around my weight.

I'm having more issues eating lately, than I did originally post-op. I typically always avoid sugar/fat. Or I try to. I've never liked it. I was never allowed much sugar when I was younger, so I've always been in this mental state that sugar is bad. So the idea of even taking a sip of a regular coke, or a bite of a cookie, makes me sick to my stomach.. Therefor I never actually want to do that.

The only things that go over well 100% are fruits and vegetables, which sucks, because those don't have much protein. I have greek yogurt a lot, different cheeses.. skim milk (1% & 2% make me feel sick). Dairy is okay.. sometimes. But there are sometimes it doesn't sit well with me either. Meat-wise, shrimp usually goes over okay.. Deli meat can, like, sliced turkey or ham or chicken? Salami is okay usually. but more dense things don't anymore. It's hard for me to eat steak or a roast or something... Pork has never gone over well. At all. I can't go near pork anymore, haha.

So, I manage. It's just hard, because some days I can eat more than others, and some days certain foods sit well when the next day those same foods won't. So a lot of the time I end up feeling sick, because it's constantly changing.

One day I could eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast, greek yogurt and fruit for a snack, a couple oz of deli meat and carrots and ranch dressing for lunch, string cheese and some turkey pepperoni for a snack, and then have a small, or half of a burger (no bun, lean meat, homemade) with cheese and a small salad for dinner.. (total volume never reaching over 8-12oz for the most part)

Where the next day I'd feel absolutely terrible if I tried greek yogurt, or a bowl of cereal. Where I don't want to go near a burger, and the only thing I'm able to get down is a cup or two of vegetable soup and a few pieces of pineapple. One or two slices of deli-meat, if I'm lucky... That's all day.

It's confusing, and I don't know why it's like that. No one can seem to explain it. I asked my endocrinologist yesterday when I went for a follow-up, and she gave me a prescription for Prevacid to see if that may help.. So we'll see. But if it doesn't I'll probably end up with a referral to GI (actually, I think she ordered one anyway.... I'm not sure. I'll have to double check that.)

But regardless, I've been doing my best. Some days I don't get enough protein because of it. But I'm doing what I can. I really don't like eating though...

My hunger still hasn't returned since surgery. None. I have to remind myself to eat. I guess there could be worse situations to be in....

Medication wise, I'm on 75mcg Synthroid for my thyroid.. 1000mg Metformin 2x day for Insulin Resistance, and 50mg Aldactone 2x a day for hormones/blood pressure/diuretic purposes. and Ogestrel birth control for PCOS. I take a Multivitamin 2x a day, and Calcium citrate twice a day as well. I'm terrible with taking a separate vitamin D, but there is 800ui of Vitamin D in the calcium citrate i take, and my blood work seems to consistently come back just great vitamin-wise, so I'm not too worried about that...

Exercise wise, I'm doing good. (: In the post I made about motivation a couple weeks (months?) ago I mentioned a Tumblr I made for motivation, and I've found a lot of great exercise ideas on there. Different routines people have came up with, songs to exercise to, etc.. That are much more interesting to try than doing the same thing over and over again each day.

I really want to build up more muscle that I'm sure I lost. I used to be an athlete. I played a bunch of sports, danced, and had a lot of muscle.. My legs still do. but I'm not nearly as strong anywhere else, so I've been doing a lot with my resistance band. I only have 1 & 3lb weights right now. I want to get 5lb & 10lb weights. When I get some more money, we'll see. (:

I also made a playlist on YouTube of videos I found that have exercise routines.. The Livestrong YouTube channel has a ton!!

Overall, I think everything is going alright. I know it goes a lot worse for some people, so I'm okay with all of this. Nothing is easy. I'm used to this. It feels better knowing I'm working harder for the weight loss.. The chances are better that it will stay off because it's coming off slower, and I feel better about it... Because it has not been an easy fix like a lot of people say. I don't even like the word fix. Because it didn't fix anything. It's helped. But nothings fixed entirely. but I'm okay with that.

I just have to accept the fact that nothing comes easy, and I need to keep working harder and harder as time goes on, to get to where I want to get to.

I hope every one's having a great day, and I'll talk to you all soon!

Talk to me on Facebook or Twitter or Email me or something!!!! I'd love to talk to some more people. (:

Bye<3
-Ashley(:

Fruit 2-0

So as I'm sitting here listening to an Alice Cooper concert that is going on at an outdoor pavillion place down the street from my house (which is amazing by the way), I've figured something out. I've come to the conclusion that grape Fruit 2-0 could possibly be the best drink in existance. Crystal Light is too sweet for me. I'm not a huge regular water fan, unless I'm working out. (& even then, it has to be bottled.. our tap water is nasty. even with a filter.) I used to be a diet pepsi junkie. Not so much anymore. Just one every other day or so, for caffeine purposes. Nestle flavored water has a weird taste to it, and Aquafina flavored water, well, number one is hard as hell to open.. number two? really sweet and concentrated. Propel Zero is great.. But for some reason upsets my stomach if I drink too much of it. --- I've drank this stuff (fruit 2-0) since I was a little kid on diets where I wasn't allowed soda. (Although I did once have sugar free carbonated flavored water... which was good.) But yeah. This stuff is amazing. <3

Just thought I'd share. (:

Have a great day.

-Ashley.

10 month post-vsg update.

Prepare yourself: Long update.

Ahh It's finally summer time! Sorry I haven't been updating as much. I've been busy at the pool. (;

Anyways. It's almost 9pm. I'm bored. Figured I'd come on here and update.. and start a few posts that I can put up in the future.. so if I ever don't have any ideas, i can put one of those up and i won't feel guilty for not posting anything. (:

Currently I'm 197lbs. I broke the 200lb mark. So I'm happy. I've been at 197lbs though now, for a month.. I emailed my dietitian today asking what she thinks... And she thinks I'm not eating enough actually.. So I'm waiting on an email back from her to see what she thinks I should change.

I'm having issues with Metformin... It's really started bugging my stomach.. Something it never used to do. I've been on it since i was like 8 years old.. So it's surprising. I'm afraid to be off of it, or on a lower dose.. Because i tend to not lose weight when I don't take it... But The nausea/stomach pain isn't the only issue.

I've sort of become hypoglycemic (To have low blood sugars).. I haven't had a doctor confirm it for me.. But there are a lot of times that it gets really low.. A few times it's gotten into the 40's, which is really scary.. I mean I know how to get it up.. It just takes awhile.. and I mean, I can't eat a ton.. So it's hard to manage it right.. If i get down to 40 something.. I know i need to eat something sugary or simple carbs.. along with protein/complex carb to get it back up... and keep it up. I don't enjoy math. I've never liked it or been good at it. It's a pain in the ass. & That is pretty much what it is.. trying to squeeze all of that into 4-8oz depending on what it is, is kind of hard.. Especially when you're shaking so much from it being low, you can't hold a glass of lemonade without it dropping and/or spilling..

So yes, that's very frustrating.. But I'm working on it. It's getting easier to manage.

I also need to figure out what's going on with my PCOS... The pill (birth control) pill I'm on is constantly changing.. and the one I'm on now isn't strong enough. I break through. So.. That's something else I need to bring up with my doctor. But I've been regular.. Which I never have been in my entire life. I hardly ever had it before.. So.. bittersweet thing. :P

I will admit I have had drinking issues.. Not alcohol.. :P I mean.. getting the minimum of 64oz of sugar free fluids in each day. I just don't remember! I'll go and take a few big gulps. then I'll feel full and bloated. set it down. and then forget to go back to it... I'm never as thirsty as i was pre-op.. so it's an adjustment. I've lost my thirst, along with my hunger.. Ha! Fantastic. anyways..

Food porn announcement!:

I'm a Mexican food junkie. I love spicy things. My dad and I went to this Mexican sports bar (Else's) the other day and I got this... This was the half. They had a whole option. Both were huge. I could only eat one slice.. but this chicken quesadilla was fucking amazing.. and stuffed with grilled chicken and cheese... really high in protein.  and just flat out amazing. Pretty cheap too.. I will definitely be going back there.

Okay. food porn over. Back to the update.

Uhm... Exercise! Yeah. Let's start that.. I'm working out close to an hour a day... Going on walks/jogs.. and toning. I do palates and light weight lifting (3lb weights)..  I do this 4-5 days a week.. and the other days I go swimming (and sometimes on the same day).. The pool i belong to is sort of like a mini water park.. there are water slides and a vortex pool and stuff.. lots of hills in the grassy area, steps, slopes, etc... Just walking in and out of the place is a work out in itself. And I love swimming. It works all your muscles. You don't really sweat.. or you don't feel it anyway, because of the water.. it's easy on bones/joints.. It's fantastic. and you don't really know you're working out when you do it. which is fantastic.

Surgical scars:

I know the lighting sucks.. sorry about that. But.. You can hardly see them. My stretchmarks I have are fading, and the surgical scars are fading with them. (Sorry there is one you can't see. it's in a really awkward spot. But it's the smallest out of all of them... and is the most faded. you literally wouldn't be able to see it at all.)

Lets see.. what else... Oh. NSV. (non-scale related victory).. there are actually  few, which I'll put here.

Had a bonfire the other night.. 2 neighborhood kids were moving to Michigan (I live in Ohio).. So.. All the neighborhood kids were over. The 2 that were moving, plus 3 other kids.. plus my 3 little brothers.. and the drummer in my brothers band (the kid in the Nike shirt.. the other 3 kids in the picture are my little brothers.) They roasted marshmallows and made s'mores. (Yes.. I had one. Sue me. I regretted it twenty minutes later. I learned my lesson.) Quinn (brother on the far left) and tommy (drummer.. kid in the nike shirt. all the other kids in the picture are my brothers. (: ) and I  all took turns with a guitar.. playing, messing around.. Kept the fire going for over 8 hours. (from a little before 7 till a little after 3 in the morning..) we were just fucking around.. having a good time.. The victory in all of this? I was actually in pictures... Usually I'm the one hiding behind the camera... But I actually wanted to be in pictures this time. Most the pictures I have of myself.. I trust myself to take, at the right angle, so I don't look bad, etc.. I'm really into photography so I know how to edit too, and all that.. Well.. not this time. I handed my $300 camera (carefully.. and hesitantly) to my little brothers to take turns.. and i ended up in some pictures.. that I didn't feel the need to edit.. Which is happening more and more lately.. Which is amazing. <3

Second NSV?

For over a year I didn't sleep in my room.. stuff accumulated... you literally couldn't walk 2 steps into the room without tripping on something... I had no bed. My friend broke it. I had a couch in there to use as a bed, but I couldn't fit on it.. I was so claustrophobic and my blood pressure was always so high.. I was so overweight.. i just felt tight and confined in the room.. so i slept on the couch out in the living room.. well... I finally got the motivation to clean my room last week... and actually sleep in there... and I'm not claustrophobic anymore. Oh. and I'm actually getting a real bed this weekend too. (; Life is good..

Last nsv.. for now..:

I played soccer for almost 10 years.. I quit when I was 13. I was closing in on 200lbs.. It was physically becoming too difficult for me to play and keep up with the other girls.. I was on 3 teams one year! A competitive select team, my school/church team, and a rec team... I loved soccer... I always have. It's honestly a part of me.. I still watch games. and play outside with my little brothers.. I'm looking into refereeing now. Well.. That bonfire I mentioned above? I was FREEZING. (another nsv.. no mater how cold it was outside.. i was hot. i never wore coats. now i get freezing so easy it's not even funny.. and i love it.) i went inside but all my sweatshirts i couldn't find because i had just cleaned my room! so they were all int he wash, with all the other shit i found. WELL. i found this hoodie on the top shelf in my closet... It was my old select soccer team hoodie.. has my last name on it and everything.. It used to be skin tight. So even when i was at soccer practices and stuff i wouldn't wear it... Guess what? it fits now. it's big. it's comfy. and i love it..... <3 I seriously almost started crying.. I miss soccer so much... I'm starting training now.. to hopefully try out again next season.. I miss it. and That is a huge goal for me.. to get back into it. it was my lifeline. It was how I took out my anger. Something I'll actually admit I'm good at. And i miss it. I will make that team again, some how.. some way.. <3

Alright.... Enough NSV's for now... anything else i can think of..

OH. okay. last thing. for now. Lose skin is getting really fucking annoying. I can't wait to have it all cut off.. The nurse prac. at the hospital doesn't seem to think I'll need much.. if any at all.. because i started at a lower weight than most their patients.. But... I know I will.. I keep getting cysts where the lose skin is. and it's annoying. and painful. I'll do a separate post in a bit about what I'm looking into.. PS wise.. But yeah... my legs are amazing. Years and years of dance and soccer and swimming and tennis... I've built up a lot of muscle.. and I've always tried to keep it. i like my legs. but when i sit down... it's just disturbing. my friend took this picture of me when i wasn't looking the other day:

You can see my thighs just.. flatten out. spread out. and over lap each other. It hurts to walk sometimes because the skin rubs together and what not.. I get rashes. It's a pain in the ass. Those bug me even more than my stomach... So yeah.

Over all.. yes I'm having some issues.. with the loose skin, low blood sugar, and some meds.. But. I"m happy! It's summer! I go to the pool a few times a week. I'm actually ENJOYING exercising.. something I never thought I'd say. yes. I'm eating too little right now.. But... even though its bad.. and this is probably a bad way of thinking... I almost see that as an accomplishment.. Simply because... It isn't the other way around. I'm not eating too much for once in my life..

Life is fucking fantastic. I can't wait to get to my goal weight.. I"m 57lbs away. And then get all this skin chopped off. and to be able to get this tattoo on my ribcage I've wanted forever... to keep training and get back into soccer..

I'm feeling extremely optimistic. And I'm happy. Loving life right now... VSG = best decision ever.

I love you Chewbacca. <3

-Ashley.

An interesting thought...

So, even thought i've lost 87lbs in the past year.. (about 52lbs since surgery..) It still hasn't really registered wtih me yet.... i still feel really fat (I know in pictures i look better... and at certain angles my legs look totally normal... when you can't see all the skin that i'll need to have removed.. lol), overweight, unhealthy, whatever. I don't see much of a difference in myself,.

I was carrying a milk jug today.. 1 gallon.  and one gallon of orange juice,.. just taking them into the house, from the car. they're about 8lbs a piece, i believe.. maybe a little over like 8.3lbs or something.

I've lost 87lbs. that's almost 11 gallons of milk.

Holy Crap.

I was carrying around that much weight. on my body. and my body is still functioning? not crippled and crushed? how the hell does that happen?
i'm thinking if i had those gallons attached to me as i walk around.... I'd probably pass out...

No wonder I had so many issues with my blood pressure before... dear lord!


I've had an epiphany today. That is all.

-ashley.

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