It's been awhile, hasn't it?

Hey there! Ashley here. It's been awhile since I updated. I've received a few emails and messages on Facebook lately about this blog, and it resulted in me logging back on to realize it's been ten months since I've updated! Wow. Time flies.

I was always motivated to update this blog when I was doing well. This blog was also a motivation for me to do well (and I define doing well by losing weight, which may not be the healthiest way of looking at it, but that's debatable.) But as far as that goes, I'm not doing well. Which is probably a huge part as to why I haven't updated lately.

I've gained 30 pounds in the six to eight months or so. I went from around 175 to 205. Which, in the grand scheme of things... I'm still closer to my goal than where I started, which is good and when I look at the situation objectively, I can see that. However, I'm still not pleased with myself even though it's not 100% in my control at the moment...

A combination of the holidays, and money issues making it difficult to stick to the low carbohydrate high protein diet I had been doing (which worked REALLY well)  were a huge part of my weight gain. Also I switched insurance companies, and there was an overlap of time I wasn't able to get 2 of my medications. I've also been having trouble stomaching one of my medications, which is better now that I've got the prescription changed.. But these are all excuses.

Its just one thing after another honestly and it knocks down your motivation real quick, you know?

I feel like whenever I get my medications under control I'll start to lose again, it's just a matter of getting in the routine of taking them the way I had for years which is something I've been out of practice of for the past few months.  I've never "fallen off" my diet necessarily, I just didn't follow it as strictly as I did in 2013, which is what I need to do again. I had so much more energy and felt so much better about myself when I stuck to Atkins. I hadn't felt that healthy in a long time, and I'm working my way back into it.

As far as the surgery goes.. I'm three and a half years out now, to the day. February 19th, 2015. I had surgery on August 19th 2011. I really don't feel like the sleeve has done much for me other than the lack of appetite and the restriction, which wasn't really much of a problem to begin with.. Not to say it's not a good dieting tool, because it's fantastic. But it certainly hasn't done for me what I've seen it do for other people within the Teen WLS program I went through, you know? And sure I can attribute that to all of my metabolic problems that are somewhat separate from anything the surgery could touch. I don't know the science behind it all, but I know things have certainly worked differently for me than anyone I've met in these support groups on Facebook or the few I've gone to in person at the hospital. I could make guesses, but they wouldn't be educated outside of what I've researched on my own. Obviously everyone's body is different, but when I look at my issues pre and post op, they are nothing like anyone I know. So... Who knows!

I'm sure once I get back into a routine I'll do better, and I do still want to get down to my goal weight. I just need to find the motivation again, so I'm hoping getting back into blogging will help with that!

So if there are any topics anyone wants me to write about, or any suggestions.. feel free to let me know. I have 120+ posts on this site and I feel like I've written the subject(s) dry, but yet I still feel like there's more I could say... So let me know! Message me on FB or e-mail me!

Here's to hoping I get things under control soon. :) Hope you all have a lovely day. Talk to you soon.

-Ashley<3

How I Keep My Skin Clear

Whether it be PCOS, Insulin Resistance, Cushing's Syndrome, Hypothyroid, or any other one of the number of conditions that could be considered hormonal or metabolic, there's almost always a symptom/side effect of acne. Whenever there's a hormonal imbalance your body acts up, and a lot of times results in your skin getting messed up. I've gotten a few messages on Facebook from people who read this blog, asking how I keep my skin clear (or if it isn't, how I cover it up.) and I figured I'd do a post about it.

First of all, I'd like to point out my acne does still flare up sometimes. When I was younger, and before I lost a lot of weight, it was absolutely horrific. I had tried proactive and lots of different over the counter "acne treatment systems" and different perscription medications (Solodyn I think was one of them? and Doxycycline.) I was about to be put on the new version of Accutane or whatever it's called, though my mom was really against it because of how strong it is/what damage it apparently can do to your body. I haven't researched it much though, because she wouldn't have let me on it when I was younger in the first place so there wasn't much of a point.

However now it thankfully only flares up once a month (you can guess when that is... ha.) and is pretty much controlled by the medications I'm on, in combination with how I take care of my skin.

Sorry the lighting wasn't that great.. I decided to take the picture right after I got out of the shower so you could see my skin before I loaded it down with crap, but I didn't take into account the fact that it's almost midnight, and the lighting in my house no matter what room we're in is absolutely horrible.

Anywho, bottom line is most anything you can see on my face that could be considered a zit or anything is most likely a scar from when I had the worst cystic acne of my life when I was 15. 

(pictured here...) 

 (If you didn't guess it already, that's me on the right/top.. with makeup. There are 0 pictures of me without makeup trying to cover it.. it was so much worse with the makeup off, I promise.)

A lot of people assume I still have it and cover it with makeup. Which, when I do have flare ups, I cover it really well with makeup. I've had about seven years of wearing makeup on a regular basis to practice.. However, generally it's better to take care of the problem as opposed to masking it so that's what I focused on doing. To this day I still don't really wear makeup unless I'm going out, which doesn't happen often, so it gives my skin a chance to rest. But for those of you asking, this is how I take care of my acne now!

My skin's really sensitive. I blush super easily for no reason at all and get sun burnt super easily. Even if I'm not hot, but I'm in the direct light from a lamp or something, my skin gets all red and blotchy. It's annoying, but I have to treat my skin like it's tissue paper. My skin also used to be really oily, but it's dried out over the years so again, I have to treat it as such.

I do still exfoliate almost every day with St. Ives Blemish control Apricot Scrub. I use it in the morning & at night. (Especially on days I wear makeup, I use it after using Neutrogena Makeup Removing Wipes. It helps get the rest of it out of my skin.) It's pretty gentle, so it isn't really harsh on my skin. If I'm breaking out, I'll sometimes use a Neutrogena Acne Control face wash, but I don't have one at the moment because I used the last of my last one about a month ago. In the shower I do use this little rubber thing that helps get into my pores. I don't even know what it's called? It came with some 360 face wash I got like a few years ago. I didn't really like the face wash, but I loved the little tool it came with.

After washing my face, immediatley I follow with my Cetaphil lotion. It's pretty light, so in the winter I usually will put it on twice when my skin's extra dry. (I mean like, once, let it absorb into my face, then another layer, twice a day. Equaling four times a day, if that makes sense.) But it doesn't make me break out, and most lotions always have. So, that's always a plus. Not to mention the fact that the bottle lasts forever! I also use chapstick. I used to have a problem with breaking out around my mouth too, but I stopped using the lip balm I was using and switched to another one and I haven't had any problems. (I'd give you the name, but it's just some with my Dentist office's name on it? I doubt they make their own, they probably just enlisted someone and got their phone number and what not printed on it, but it has no brand name unfortunatley.)

As far as prescriptions go - Epiduo is the only prescription I have for my acne now, as opposed to the 2 creams and 2 medications and what not I was on at the same time a few years back. You're only supposed to put it on your break outs, but generally I'll put it on the places I know I break out regularly, like my cheeks and chin. I use it preventatively, which to be fair I really probably shouldn't, but I do. Again, use it sparingly though. Thin layers. I've only had to get my prescription filled two or three times and I've had it for about 18 months now.

Then, I'm also on Spironolactone (Generic version of Aldactone.) This is a mild diuretic and I was put on it originally to help with my blood pressure and my high androgen level's back in early 2011 before I lost 100lbs. My blood pressure is perfectly fine now, I've just stayed on a low dose of it to help with the hormone levels and for the diuretic purposes, but it helps with my acne so that's a plus!

Last but not least is my birth control. I'm on Sprintec. I've switched birth controls a lot over the past few years, but they've all helped my acne except one that I can't remember the name of, which made it worse. again, I'm on it to help with the PCOS, which one of the side effects of is acne.. and this helps counter it.

With makeup, most of the products I use on my face are water based. I use Revlon, Covergirl, and Maybeline products for the most part. I've never had any issues with makeup making me break out, thankfully. But I won't go into specifics with those..

Obviously, I try not to touch my face too much, and I try to keep my hair out of my face when I can (but that doesn't always happen.) and... That's about it!

I hope that helped some of you who've been asking, or anyone who would have ended up asking. :) I hope you're all having a great day, and I shall talk to you all soon. <3

-Ashley

What is this blog about?

Some people ask me what my blog is about.. If it's just me updating everyone on how WLS went for me, or a place to rant about all of my metabolic problems, or if it's informational, etc..

Truth is, it's a combination of it all.

When I was looking into surgery, I wanted to see how the whole process was from a (teenage) patients perspective. Not doctors. Not adults journeys. Someone near my age, that had been through similar things.. But because this is such a new thing, there isn't much documentation or anything like that online.. (not to mention not much research done at all long-term yet.)

Then I realized how nice it would have been if I could have found information online with kids dealing with Insulin Resistance, Hypothyroidism, PCOS, etc.. But again, there isn't much out there.

When I was first diagnosed with IR when I was 6 years old, that was kind of unheard of back in 2000/2001.  It was damn near a miracle that the doctor we found at the time was there, because no one even hardly knew what IR was in adults, much less young children/teenagers. There weren't really support groups for this kind of stuff (there still really isn't.) and I had no way of meeting other people with it, or talking to anyone, or knowing what it was like for anyone else.

So no. This isn't just about the weight loss surgery I had in August 2011. That was originally why I started the blog, but it's spread to a lot more than that.

I do informational posts, because through talking to people that have had surgery.. I've realized how privileged I am to have the knowledge I do about certain health-related topics. How lucky I was to see a dietitian at such a young age, and understand how your body processes food, what you need to stay healthy, what to eat to lose/maintain weight, etc.. I knew how to read labels when I was 8 years old. I learned portion sizes, etc... all before I was 10.

Not just diet, but exercise too. And the whole biological side of things? Through doctors explaining things to me, and doing my own research because I'm interested in my health, I understand a lot more than your average person about these kind of topics.. And to be honest? I enjoy researching and learning more, and sharing what I learn with other people. Writing has always been something I'm passionate about, and so has my health. Being able to mix those two things is kind of amazing. Education is a huge part of this whole process of trying to get healthy. Everyone is constantly learning, that's kind of just how this works.. and some times it's easier to learn things in plain English (given, if that's your primary language) rather than the technical terms a lot of doctors use.. Which is what I try to translate, in a sense.

So yeah. The informational posts certainly drive a lot of traffic to my blog. So do the pictures I post. And that's kind of my goal.. I want to drive people here. I want something to catch someones eye, and they spend a time reading even just one of my other posts.

I want people to learn more about these issues, how they affect younger people differently than adults, and the toll it takes on them.

I want to be able to have people to talk to, or that I know understand what I'm going through.. no matter what stage they're in. If they were just diagnosed with IR, if they've had it 10 years, if they were born with it, if they were looking into surgery, if they've already had surgery, if they're struggling with weight loss and maybe they don't understand why... all of it! There needs to be some sort of support network for these kind of things.. It affects so much more than just your physical health. and I know from experience it means/helps so much more, coming from someone who has gone through it.. compared to a doctor who has only studied it, or an adult who developed these issues/had surgery later on in life, etc..

I want people who have no clue what the hell any of this is, or who don't understand why the hell a surgeon would remove 85% of a 15 year old's stomach, to learn something.. to become more aware of these issues.

I want someone who is overweight looking for answers to stumble across this and be like "oh. maybe this is what's wrong." and even if it isn't, it may have given them the motivation to go to a doctor and get tested, and then even if absolutely nothing is wrong.. They went to see a doctor who could help guide them and get them on the right track to losing weight in a healthy way.

In all honesty, I was that desperate 13 year old looking for starvation-style diets online and going to pro-ana (pro-anorexia)  websites when I was frustrated with everything doctors and dietitians had told me before, not working..This was before I got a grip and switched doctors, and got on the right medications, and looked into surgery. I knew I was IR.. I ate healthy, i exercised.. But I didn't know about everything else I had developed that was contributing to all of my excess weight. I wish I had come across something like this a few years ago.. it probably could have helped me a lot. But I didn't. Now I'm in a position where I've learned so much, it feels kind of selfish not to share it with anyone.. you know?

So yeah. That's it. I'm in the process of going through every single post I have and editing them, updating information, etc.. Because a lot of them haven't been updated since 2011 and a lot has changed. I never used to really pay much attention to my spelling/grammar errors simply because I never thought anyone would ever see this site. Which isn't true anymore. It's kind of embarrassing going back and seeing how many times I misspelled 'exercise' or 'vertical'. :P

I just wanted to post this.. More and more people are looking at this site now, and I figured I should mention what it's all about.

Bottom line is.. There is no support network for people who have all of these problems. Not just in-person support groups, because there usually aren't enough people in an area to start a support group. Everything these days is online, and I think if there was more information out there a lot of people would be a lot better off. I want to share everything I'm going through, because surgery-wise I want people to know what they're getting themselves into to make sure they're prepared, and metabolic-wise I want everyone to know they aren't crazy, these diseases are real, and with proper diet/exercise/medication combo they can be treated, or at least dealt with. People need to understand their options, and know what's out there. I'm a strong believer in doing your own research and getting more than 1 opinion from doctors. If you see something on here that catches your eye, google it, ask your doctors.. Clearly, I'm not a doctor, nor do I aspire to be one. I'm just a girl sharing what she learns with other people, hoping in some way it could potentially help someone, or make someone more aware.

Lastly, I just want people to know they're not alone.. I've felt alone my entire life, and sometimes still do, dealing with this. No one should have to feel like they're alone going through all of this, because you aren't. I promise.

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I hope you're all having a good day, and I'll update again soon! (:

-Ashley<3