How to stay motivated!

I've been stuck at 195 since May... MAY. I actually gained 12 pounds during the summer, but then I lost it once my meds were adjusted.. And I was back to 195, where I have remained since. It's now the first week of November.

Obviously, I've been frustrated. I've amped up my exercise, upped my water intake, and I'm seeing if this will help. Also it's questionable if I'm eating enough. So I've been emailing back & forth with my dietitian, trying to sort this out.

For a few months I just completely gave up. I'm able to maintain perfectly fine. But losing is an issue. I figured okay I'm stuck here forever but... I actually saw a post on a website called Tumblr that I get on regularly, about diet/exercise/etc... Then I discovered an entirely different side of the website, full of blogs full of motivation tips and diet/exercise tips and all sorts of stuff... I typically just got on that website to 'fangirl' over bands and youtubers that I'm probably a little too obsessed with, and to find quotes and stuff I liked and artsy stuff... But this threw me for a whirlwind.

I came to the realization that I'm back at square one. This surgery had already done what it's going to do for me... It was a huge jump start.. Not just the surgery, because that alone I don't think did much for me (other than being a HUGE reality check & gave me a much higher pain tolerance).. I mean, of course it helps me restrict how much I"m eating but... Ask any one that has ever been in my life, my family, any doctor I've seen in the past... My diet was never my problem. --- But the doctors I've met because of the surgery, and the medications that have been (Finally) orchestrated correctly, the other patients I've met, everything... I've learned a lot. But I'm back to square one. The only difference between now and 2 years ago when I was incapable of losing weight? I've seen it happen. I've seen it work. I've seen that my body is capable of weight loss, with the right combination of everything.. (drugs, diet, exercise, fluids, etc..)

Something is missing right now.. I'm not sure what. I see my Endocrinologist on the 7th, then dietitian and other people eon the bariatric team on the 13th.. So maybe they'll have some answers for me seeing as I've been logging my food religiously. Maybe that's part of it... Maybe my meds need adjusted, who knows.

Anyways, the point of this post is how do I stay motivated? Honestly... It's hard. It really is. But I've found a few things that really help.

1. I created another blog. A second tumblr (separate from my first one, because they're completely different topics.) to find and share things I find on there.. Different exercise ideas, diets, motivation tips, etc... I love updating this website, but there isn't much interaction with anyone... Where on tumblr there is a ton of interaction.. Tons of people blogging about the same thing and supporting each other  I can't go to the support groups my surgeon has because they're always at a time when i never have a ride... my family doesn't quite understand what i'm going through, and neither do any of my friends.. So this has been great for me. And while on there, I've found a few other things to help motivate me.

2. Logging. If I stay accountable to myself, it helps me keep on track. I log everything on myfitnesspal.com -- i always have been on & off with it but lately I've been religious. Logging exercise, fluids, and food.

3. Pictures!!! The desktop background for my laptop is this picture:

This picture helps remind me that I'm capable of getting to my goal weight (140lbs).. That it may take awhile, but I eventually CAN get there.I'm really proud of what I've accomplished so far,... I like this feeling. I want it to continue. -- the picture on the left is the ONLY close to full body picture I have of myself from my highest weight.. I was so ashamed of my body... But I'm SO glad I have it to reference .. Honestly. whenever I feel like I'm not losing anything or that i haven't accomplished anything, I can just look at my leg in that picture, then my leg in the second picture.. There is absolutely no denying the difference. 

4. I have my resistance band, 3 pound weights, and tape measure all right next to my door on the shelf in my room. Every time I turn my head, stand up, or walk in or out of my room I see it and it's a constant reminder to work out..

5. The biggest motivator the past few weeks? I saw an idea for this on tumblr, and created one of my own...

This is all on the back of my bedroom door. Every. Pound. Counts. It's something I have to keep reminding myself... Every pound is a little achievement that I work my ass off to lose. I highlighted every 5 pounds and put a heart on every 10 pounds.. Because they're even bigger achievements. Inspirational quotes, reminding myself to take my medications, drink water, etc... All of it. Every time I see it it's bright and obnoxious on my door (seeing as the rest of my room is white/brown/black/tan colored) and stands out and I feel guilty if I don't do what I need to do each day.. -- The satisfaction of being able to cross off a pound, but a big black X over it and tell myself that I will never see it again is absolutely amazing, and it's something I work for. That feeling is indescribable.

*******
So yeah. That's about all I got. Do you have any other motivation tips you want to share? Let me know!!! (: -- Hope everyone is having a great day & I'll update once I see all these doctors and figure out what's going on.

~Ashley

Ps: If you want to visit the tumblr I mentioned above, it's www.ashley887.tumblr.com (: