It's been awhile, hasn't it?

Hey there! Ashley here. It's been awhile since I updated. I've received a few emails and messages on Facebook lately about this blog, and it resulted in me logging back on to realize it's been ten months since I've updated! Wow. Time flies.

I was always motivated to update this blog when I was doing well. This blog was also a motivation for me to do well (and I define doing well by losing weight, which may not be the healthiest way of looking at it, but that's debatable.) But as far as that goes, I'm not doing well. Which is probably a huge part as to why I haven't updated lately.

I've gained 30 pounds in the six to eight months or so. I went from around 175 to 205. Which, in the grand scheme of things... I'm still closer to my goal than where I started, which is good and when I look at the situation objectively, I can see that. However, I'm still not pleased with myself even though it's not 100% in my control at the moment...

A combination of the holidays, and money issues making it difficult to stick to the low carbohydrate high protein diet I had been doing (which worked REALLY well)  were a huge part of my weight gain. Also I switched insurance companies, and there was an overlap of time I wasn't able to get 2 of my medications. I've also been having trouble stomaching one of my medications, which is better now that I've got the prescription changed.. But these are all excuses.

Its just one thing after another honestly and it knocks down your motivation real quick, you know?

I feel like whenever I get my medications under control I'll start to lose again, it's just a matter of getting in the routine of taking them the way I had for years which is something I've been out of practice of for the past few months.  I've never "fallen off" my diet necessarily, I just didn't follow it as strictly as I did in 2013, which is what I need to do again. I had so much more energy and felt so much better about myself when I stuck to Atkins. I hadn't felt that healthy in a long time, and I'm working my way back into it.

As far as the surgery goes.. I'm three and a half years out now, to the day. February 19th, 2015. I had surgery on August 19th 2011. I really don't feel like the sleeve has done much for me other than the lack of appetite and the restriction, which wasn't really much of a problem to begin with.. Not to say it's not a good dieting tool, because it's fantastic. But it certainly hasn't done for me what I've seen it do for other people within the Teen WLS program I went through, you know? And sure I can attribute that to all of my metabolic problems that are somewhat separate from anything the surgery could touch. I don't know the science behind it all, but I know things have certainly worked differently for me than anyone I've met in these support groups on Facebook or the few I've gone to in person at the hospital. I could make guesses, but they wouldn't be educated outside of what I've researched on my own. Obviously everyone's body is different, but when I look at my issues pre and post op, they are nothing like anyone I know. So... Who knows!

I'm sure once I get back into a routine I'll do better, and I do still want to get down to my goal weight. I just need to find the motivation again, so I'm hoping getting back into blogging will help with that!

So if there are any topics anyone wants me to write about, or any suggestions.. feel free to let me know. I have 120+ posts on this site and I feel like I've written the subject(s) dry, but yet I still feel like there's more I could say... So let me know! Message me on FB or e-mail me!

Here's to hoping I get things under control soon. :) Hope you all have a lovely day. Talk to you soon.

-Ashley<3

P90x? What?

So, I've always had an issue with exercise tapes/programs. It's been a love/hate relationship ever since I was a little kid.

As I've mentioned numerous times before, my weight problems started literally when I was 2 or 3 years old. Therefor, dieting and exercise started as soon as it could. I was in exercise programs starting at 5 years old, and I was doing Richard Simmons Sweatin' to the Oldies tapes for half an hour to an hour a day..

Eventually we found more kid-oriented exercise tapes, and I got into the video game DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) which worked pretty well, but I got burnt out pretty quickly and hated them. I always preferred doing my own routines for dancing or trying to convince my parents to get a gym membership, because i hated staring at a TV for an hour a day, because I knew it was exercise. It felt like exercise. I would go on walks/jogs to appease my parents just to shut my mom up so I didn't have to do an exercise tape.

Well... After years of just doing things like that, obviously I'm not seeing many results.. I want to build muscle and lose weight quicker than I have been. So, even though I swore to myself I'd never do an exercise program again, I've decided to try p90x.

Not meaning do it for one day then quit. I mean... I actually want to complete the program.

Programs like that that are made for 90 days seem easier to me, because there is a goal. You can cross every day off that you complete it, and feel accomplished. It doesn't feel like it'll go on forever.

I'm on my 5th day now... and I can tell you, I'm amazed I haven't stopped. I've made it through every one so far. (However, I have had some issues with Yoga.. because I have tendinitis in my wrists, it's hard to put a lot of pressure on them on the floor things... So I've been replacing the yoga with cardio, and anytime there is anything that hurts my wrists, I just jog in place until the next move/etc..)

I'm really proud of myself. I thought I was much more out of shape than this, but I guess not.

No, I didn't buy the program. I'm dirt poor. No money. I'm trying to save money for college. But I found a YouTube channel of a man who has done Insanity & P90x, and he posted all the videos online... And I also found the workout schedule online, so that's what I've been following.

Channel with the videos: http://www.youtube.com/user/butterbrown1961/videos?sort=da&view=0&flow=grid

Schedule: http://www.p90xworkoutschedule.org/ (I'm doing the Lean option)

I can tell you my muscles are all ridiculously sore, and even the workouts that aren't made for cardio get your heart rate (or at least mine) up to 180 or so for the solid hour (or however long) you're doing them, which is exactly what I need.

I emailed my dietitian, asking if I needed to up my calories (because the average burned during these workouts is 500-600 per workout).. and she said yes, to up them.. Have a protein shake or protein-rich smoothie every day with the workout... So I've started doing that (despite how much I hate protein powder) and that's that. I've been having one after every workout, and to get all the calories I need in I have to eat every 3 hours... but it's worth it. so worth it.

I haven't lost any weight yet while starting the program, and I know when I gain muscle even if I'm losing fat, my body may change even when my weight doesn't.. and I'm okay with that. I miss having all the muscle I used to have.

So... yeah. that's that. We'll see how this goes, and I'll keep everyone updated. (: I'm determined to stick to this...

Hope every one's having a great day, and I'll update soon! bye. <3

-Ashley