Happy Holidays! Don't stress out over the food!

Happy Holidays!!!

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, I've been pretty busy with the Holidays and starting up a new youtube channel, and such.

But I'm back now! After a long discussion with some family members the day after Christmas, that involved them harassing me about becoming a doctor or a nurse practitioner because of all of my 'medical knowledge' I've accumulated over the years, I figured I should get back into this.

Probably won't be a long post, simply because I'm going to a concert later, and I need to get ready (yay!!) but we'll see how it goes.

Weight Update: 185lbs (: Praise the lord for my Endocrinologist and her magic medicine dosages.

Anywho, during the holidays a lot of people don't even try to lose weight because it's so hard with all the tempting food, or they do try and just end up disappointed at their results and figure they should've just pigged out while they had the excuse of the holidays, since they didn't lose any weight anyways.

It doesn't have to be that way. Holidays are supposed to be about family/friends/etc.. Not food. People over the years have just made it about the food.

Given, I do realllllyy enjoy broccoli casserole and snacking all day on all the crap my mom sets out for my family, Over the years I've adapted to like different things...

You need to pick and choose your battles, is what I'm trying to say.

If your weakness is cookies/sweets? Have a cookie or two. Just don't eat 5 or 6. If you don't eat any, then you'll binge on something else.

If your weakness is carbs? Have some of that casserole or whatever, but have half a cup to a cup, instead of going back and having 3 servings and stuffing yourself. (This is where I'm guilty.. However thanks to my sleeve I'm incapable of going back and having 3 servings, as much as I'd like to.... Haha)

And I also am guilty of snacking throughout the day on holidays (and afterwards with the leftovers.)

But it's the holidays. It's okay to not stay on your 'perfect' diet plan. Be realistic. If it isn't going to happen, it won't happen. Don't set high expectations for yourself, because then you'll just feel like crap when you don't meet them.

Some people can pull of dieting through the holidays. If you can, then fantastic! Keep at it! But if you can't, don't stress yourself out over it.

Most of my snacking consisted of shrimp cocktail (which I eat on a pretty regular basis, anyway... I just ate a LOT more of it on Christmas), cheese/crackers, a veggie tray, and fruit salad. Which isn't bad. At all. Considering on a regular basis I have issues eating enough, having all the food on Christmas (and actually meeting all calorie/carb/protein requirements) was a reality check.

Bottom line is, don't stress yourself out. Realize what you're eating, how much, then quit focusing on it and focus on your friends/family rather than the food.

Hope you all had a great Christmas (Or Hannukah or Kwanza or if you don't celebrate anything, then a happy Tuesday?) and I'll try to update more often in the new year! Haha.

Bye<3
-Ashley

Pictures from Christmas!!!

I hadn't slept in 2 days.. Too busy cooking and what not. So most the pictures my mom took of me, I really don't remember. Haha

The quiche's I made for breakfast (:

Snacking snacking snacking. On Christmas Eve at my grandparents they had shrimp cocktail but I was too slow to get to it, and it was all gone. So I made sure to get some at my moms.... Haha.

Christmas Tree<3 (I still can't believe my mom bought those stupid light up pillows from the infomercials like WHY but i have to admit they're really fuzzy... I slept with mine last night. It feels like a little kitten. Haha!)

11 year old brother on his skateboard type thing with the leather jacket i bought him! I KNOW IT'S SWALLOWING HIM. It's huge. But it's the ONLY one they had left at the store, and he really wanted one. So I got it, and decided to use it as an incentive for him to take his shots... And it worked. (he has a growth hormone deficiency  My 9 year old brother is taller than him, etc.. He has to take growth hormogne injections every day, but fights it. But recently he's realized he doesn't wanna be 4'5" forever... So he's been taking them. Yay for Connor! (:)

Quinn after he got his new guitar. His face was priceless. Haha

I typically don't show much emotion.. In facial expressions anyway. But seeing as I was going on 2 days with no sleep, and was NOT expecting this, It's understandable as to why I actually gave a reaction to the fact that I got a gift card to my favorite Tattoo shop. I get to go sometime in the next few weeks and get my second tattoo. I'm freaking stoked. 

Tinkerbell was sleepy <3 my moms cat kept me warm all day seeing as it was FREAKING FREEZING.

Oh yeah and the day after Christmas we woke up with like 7 inches of snow on the ground. no big deal. Just the first time snow has stuck in our city in 3 freaking years.

Last but not least, the day after Christmas My 9 year old brother Nolan wanted to go play in the snow, but no one would go with him because Connor was too busy with his netbook and Quinn was too busy with his Guitar. I said I'd go, but I didn't have any jeans or snowpants or anything, all I had were leggings and pajama pants.... My mom found a old pair of snowpants of my brothers (Quinns) That don't fit him anymore and made me try them on.... I haven't worn snow pants in 4 years. I never went out in the snow unless it was to get in a car, because I had none that fit and didnt' want to buy any. Well... I wasn't expecting them tofit, and they didn't. They were too big. I gotta be honest, that kind of made my day.

So I went outside with Nolan, had a snowball fight after realizing the snow was too icy to make a snowman, and he pushed me down the hill in our front yard.

So yeah. That was my Christmas. Hope yours was just as great! (: Bye!

Success Story Video!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MrMUr67pVY8



Back in September (2012) I was asked to take part in a Success Story type video for the Surgical Weightloss Program for Teens at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center, where I had the VSG back in August 2011... So, of course I agreed.

I wasn't at my goal weight then, and I'm not now. So I had a hard time understanding why they wanted me as a success story. But, my reasoning behind it is that I AM a lot healthier now, than I was before.. I have lost 100lbs (including what I lost pre-op) and I did everything they said/asked. So in that sense, the fact that it has benefited me and continues to benefit me every day, would be considered success.. Right?

So yeah, that's that. Watch it if you want. (: Let me know what you think.

Have a great day!

-Ashley<3

(Also, here is the hospitals FAQ & the programs promo video that were uploaded that I'm in briefly, as well!!)

FAQ: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naTFOlSnbRE (This video is just basically the bariatric team at the hospital I go to answering frequently asked questions about surgery, the program for teenagers, etc...)

Promo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUlWh0hRuuA (This video gives some more information on the program, and how surgery has helped me & a couple other people with our lives. I got really excited when I first saw it because they included my tattoo in it... Haha (: )

How to stay motivated!

I've been stuck at 195 since May... MAY. I actually gained 12 pounds during the summer, but then I lost it once my meds were adjusted.. And I was back to 195, where I have remained since. It's now the first week of November.

Obviously, I've been frustrated. I've amped up my exercise, upped my water intake, and I'm seeing if this will help. Also it's questionable if I'm eating enough. So I've been emailing back & forth with my dietitian, trying to sort this out.

For a few months I just completely gave up. I'm able to maintain perfectly fine. But losing is an issue. I figured okay I'm stuck here forever but... I actually saw a post on a website called Tumblr that I get on regularly, about diet/exercise/etc... Then I discovered an entirely different side of the website, full of blogs full of motivation tips and diet/exercise tips and all sorts of stuff... I typically just got on that website to 'fangirl' over bands and youtubers that I'm probably a little too obsessed with, and to find quotes and stuff I liked and artsy stuff... But this threw me for a whirlwind.

I came to the realization that I'm back at square one. This surgery had already done what it's going to do for me... It was a huge jump start.. Not just the surgery, because that alone I don't think did much for me (other than being a HUGE reality check & gave me a much higher pain tolerance).. I mean, of course it helps me restrict how much I"m eating but... Ask any one that has ever been in my life, my family, any doctor I've seen in the past... My diet was never my problem. --- But the doctors I've met because of the surgery, and the medications that have been (Finally) orchestrated correctly, the other patients I've met, everything... I've learned a lot. But I'm back to square one. The only difference between now and 2 years ago when I was incapable of losing weight? I've seen it happen. I've seen it work. I've seen that my body is capable of weight loss, with the right combination of everything.. (drugs, diet, exercise, fluids, etc..)

Something is missing right now.. I'm not sure what. I see my Endocrinologist on the 7th, then dietitian and other people eon the bariatric team on the 13th.. So maybe they'll have some answers for me seeing as I've been logging my food religiously. Maybe that's part of it... Maybe my meds need adjusted, who knows.

Anyways, the point of this post is how do I stay motivated? Honestly... It's hard. It really is. But I've found a few things that really help.

1. I created another blog. A second tumblr (separate from my first one, because they're completely different topics.) to find and share things I find on there.. Different exercise ideas, diets, motivation tips, etc... I love updating this website, but there isn't much interaction with anyone... Where on tumblr there is a ton of interaction.. Tons of people blogging about the same thing and supporting each other  I can't go to the support groups my surgeon has because they're always at a time when i never have a ride... my family doesn't quite understand what i'm going through, and neither do any of my friends.. So this has been great for me. And while on there, I've found a few other things to help motivate me.

2. Logging. If I stay accountable to myself, it helps me keep on track. I log everything on myfitnesspal.com -- i always have been on & off with it but lately I've been religious. Logging exercise, fluids, and food.

3. Pictures!!! The desktop background for my laptop is this picture:

This picture helps remind me that I'm capable of getting to my goal weight (140lbs).. That it may take awhile, but I eventually CAN get there.I'm really proud of what I've accomplished so far,... I like this feeling. I want it to continue. -- the picture on the left is the ONLY close to full body picture I have of myself from my highest weight.. I was so ashamed of my body... But I'm SO glad I have it to reference .. Honestly. whenever I feel like I'm not losing anything or that i haven't accomplished anything, I can just look at my leg in that picture, then my leg in the second picture.. There is absolutely no denying the difference. 

4. I have my resistance band, 3 pound weights, and tape measure all right next to my door on the shelf in my room. Every time I turn my head, stand up, or walk in or out of my room I see it and it's a constant reminder to work out..

5. The biggest motivator the past few weeks? I saw an idea for this on tumblr, and created one of my own...

This is all on the back of my bedroom door. Every. Pound. Counts. It's something I have to keep reminding myself... Every pound is a little achievement that I work my ass off to lose. I highlighted every 5 pounds and put a heart on every 10 pounds.. Because they're even bigger achievements. Inspirational quotes, reminding myself to take my medications, drink water, etc... All of it. Every time I see it it's bright and obnoxious on my door (seeing as the rest of my room is white/brown/black/tan colored) and stands out and I feel guilty if I don't do what I need to do each day.. -- The satisfaction of being able to cross off a pound, but a big black X over it and tell myself that I will never see it again is absolutely amazing, and it's something I work for. That feeling is indescribable.

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So yeah. That's about all I got. Do you have any other motivation tips you want to share? Let me know!!! (: -- Hope everyone is having a great day & I'll update once I see all these doctors and figure out what's going on.

~Ashley

Ps: If you want to visit the tumblr I mentioned above, it's www.ashley887.tumblr.com (:

How To: Keep Long hair post-op.

A lot of people (girls, specifically) feel like they have to cut most their hair off post-op.. Given, some do it because your life changes so much and its kind of like a 'new beginning'.. It's symbolic, I guess. But it's also partially because you lose a lot of hair.. Hormone changes, not enough protein, the body's shock from weight loss, whatever the reason.. hair is lost. Typically, it stops after awhile. But if you continually have medication changes like I do, you never know when it'll start back up again/stop.

Personally, I'd prefer to keep my long hair. I've always wanted to grow it out for a program called Pantene Beautiful lengths, which I eventually want to do. It's similar to Locks of Love.. But yeah - anyways, I think I look terrible with short hair anyway. Just my face shape, I've never liked it (even though most my life I had short hair.)

So yeah. My hair is fairly long... Difficult enough to take care of in itself, but when you're constantly losing hair and hair is re-growing... It can become a mess and it becomes a million times more horrific. However, I've managed to do pretty well so far. My hair has thinned out a lot. I'm disturbed by it half the time, but I've found ways to hide it for people so half the time they don't even notice I've lost any.

Here is how I take care of my hair. (Disclaimer: The products I use change every few months, but they're typically very similar. Except the heat protectant I list.I just tried it out a couple months ago and I'm in love with it and never want to use anything else ever again.. Haha.) (Also, I apologize in advance for this long post. The pictures make it a lot longer than the word-content would otherwise.)

These are the shampoo/conditioner I'm currently using. Most people say it isn't good to wash your hair every day, but sometimes you can't avoid it. With all the hormone changes, your hair can either get really dry and brittle or really greasy & nasty. So just do what you're comfortable with. Currently I'm going every other day, but that changes depending on how my hair is. - and despite if your hair is greasy, use conditioner on your roots. Sometimes excess grease is because your roots aren't getting enough moisture and are stripped of everything good for them. Just make sure you rinse your hair well! With cold water, if you can. It helps prevent frizzy-ness.

The big circle is about how much shampoo I use for how long my hair is. But the small circle is about how much conditioner I use. 

(I apologize for the hideous flash. I had just gotten out of the shower when I took these and had no makeup on and the flash isn't helping the picture quality or how my skin looks, at all.. haha.)  anyways - never brush your hair with like.. a normal brush, when it's wet or damp. always use a wide tooth comb, to prevent further damage or breakage with your hair. (Yes, that is all my hair pulled forward. you can really see how little there is when it's wet, lol.) - ALSO. I don't blowdry my hair typically. I use as little heat as possible (and since I typically have to always either straighten or curl my hair, because i have a different texture growing in as re-growth than the rest of my hair, i avoid excess heat at all costs unless i'm really in a hurry.

Which... this morning I was in a hurry. so I let my hair air-dry halfway then blewdry the rest of the way pointing DOWN. do NOT try to add volume to your hair by blowing your hair up or turning your head upside down and blowdrying.. the re-growth will just become a pain in the ass and get all tangled. 

AND USE A HEAT PROTECTANT. 

This is about what my hair was before i blew-dry it the rest of the way. still a little damp. you can see the weird texture.. and the re-growth in the front. all of my hair is supposed to be one length, the way I've gotten it cut... anything that is shorter than the over-all length of my hair, is re-growth from over the past few years. (Medication changes pre-op, etc..)

The amazing heat protectant I use. I got it at CVS for like 5 dollars after seeing some guy I watch on youtube, reccomend it.. It's so good. It smells amazing. & yeah. Just spray it over the bottom half of your hair, and your bangs/etc in the front. don't spray your roots directly.  Then blowdry if you're going to do that, if not, just run your fingers through it and get ready to flat iron or curl or whatever you're going to do. I almost always flat iron first, even if I'm going to curl.. just to tame all the re-growth. So I'll show you how I do that, typically.

I seperate my hair into sections.. I'll do the lower section, then middle section, then top sections.. then my bangs (that aren't cut intentionally.. thanks re-growth.) It still looks damp because after I blow-dry my hair, i add a little more heat protectant towards the ends so I don't fry them.

Make sure you get close to the root.. all over your head, so you get all the re-growth. In the front I've lost a lot of hair.. almost like my hairline was receding, but it's growing back. It has a weird curl to it. If you don't straighten it right, it looks like this.. almost a backwards upside down nike sign.. haha.

So make sure you straighten it like this, curving it downwards. (pretend my fingers are a flat iron for the pictures purposes..)

For dealing with the top section, the most important part that people see, I use a rat-tail comb to section off small areas and get really close to the root to get every possible cm of hair I can.

Never, & I repeat NEVER try to tease your hair. Forget about volume while you're going through this. It's not important. You'll get over having flat hair. It's not a big deal.. But if you do tease it, this is what happens. All re-growth. I don't care how careful you are when you do it, it will look like absolute crap. 

It's only okay to use an actual brush for your hair once it's completely dry and flat. If it's curly, no. If it's damp, no. Only if it's straight/wavy and completely dry. And actually good to brush a few times a day to get all the hair that falls out, out.. So it doesn't end up in your shower drain.

After it's all straight/curly/however I want it, even though this says curl sculpting gel, i use it every day no matter what my hair looks like. Almost as a finishing cream. it smoothes everything down without looking hard like gel or hairspray and you can still run your fingers through your hair, etc..

You only need about this much.

Last tip: If you're going to put your hair up, make sure whatever your using wether it's bobby pins, clips, clamps, hair elastics, etc.. that they don't have sharp or little pieces of metal. My bobby pins are plastic-coated and no metal pieces of hair elastics, because hair can get caught on them and break off.. That's the last thing you need.

So yeah. Final product: 

(From the back...)

(From the side...)

& finally from the front. (: (again.. terrible picture. Obviously if you've ever been to this site before you've probably seen better pictures of me. :P)

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So, I hope this helps someone see that it IS possible to keep your hair... People have said in the past when I complain about my hair thinning out just to cut it off but.. I look terrible with short hair. I've considered maybe cutting it a little past my collar bone and adding some layers in... But not until i'm reading to donate it to locks of love. Only then would I cut it that short... haha. I need a few more inches first. (:

Oh. & this is what my hair looks like when it's curled, which I've been doing a lot lately because it makes my hair look thicker than it really is.. Haha. 

Oh, & that picture is from a photoshoot/videoshoot/interview thing I did for CCHMC a month or so ago!!! The photographer sent me all the pictures she took and I'm kind of in love with them. (Instead of getting senior pictures I'm just using these.. Haha.) [http://www.tmphotography.net/]

So that's it!!! Hope this helped some of you and have a great day. (:

-ashley

How much can I really eat?

Okay, so I'm attempting to post this from my iPhone. If I can do this, it will make my posts MUCH more frequent.. Haha. Anyways...

How much can I really eat? Doctors will tell you the estimate of how much you should be able to eat, and it's different with different surgeries. I had the VSG. I'm supposed to eat about a cup to a cup and a half (volume-wise) of food. Which is roughly right. But the density of the food matters. Salad? Yeah that's about right. Pure protein? Meat, cheese, etc... No. Not even close. -- my family does eat out quite frequently. Or carry out or whatever. We went out to eat the other day and I decided to use that opportunity to blog about a real life situation (with pictures). :p

(and right as I attempted to insert a picture on my phone, it crashed.. saying i need to install a new app to be able to do that. I may try it later.. So I know I can write drafts.. just no pictures. alright. :P)

Anyways.. Basically we went out to eat and I got what I usually get at that restaurant. A club-melt sandwich (which consists of turkey, bacon, tomato, and I think it's white cheddar cheese, on toast. and a side salad.. Salad is pointless for me to eat. It's nutrients it limited. It's basically just water, fills me up too much, whatever. But the sandwich comes with a side, and I really like salad. So I get it and just have a few bites of it and give the rest to my brothers who like it. So, this is how much of my meal I could eat:

(I used my hand to show you roughly how big the salad was)

Volume-wise.. it was maybe 1 1/4 cup of food that I ate. I picked off all the crust and a few little parts of the half to make it look like I ate a little more than I actually did to shut the waiter up (because yes, most times I go out they question if the food wasn't good or if I'd like something else or what not.. Haha) and I brought the other half home. 

I looked up the nutrition facts for this meal that I usually get because my family goes to this specific restaurant  pretty often... Turns out The sandwich alone has 56 grams of protein.. Half of that.. (minus some bread) is like 28 grams of protein. almost freaking 30 grams of protein. Half of what I'm supposed to get in a day. That isn't bad. At all. That's actually kind of amazing. The fat content isn't high, and calories/carbs are average.. And salad is basically nothing because I can only eat 3-4 bites of it, so.. yeah.

Some people seem to think after surgery you can't eat the same foods you used to.. I guess that depends on what you ate before surgery... If you're used to living off of fast food, eating entire bags of chips, little-no vegetables/fruits, fried things, etc... Then yeah. Probably not. You're physically capable of it, but doesn't that kind of ruin the point of having surgery? But if you have a relatively healthy diet? There is no reason you can't eat a normal meal at a restaurant. Obviously, less of it... But this is something I got pre-surgery too.. Except I ate it all. 

So yeah. That's about how much I can eat. I could eat a little more volume if I had more salad and less sandwich, but then I wouldn't get as much protein. (Which is something I've had issues getting enough in of, in the past.) It just depends on the density of what you're eating.

Alright! Hope you all have a good day and I'll update again soon. (: Bye.

-ashley

Side effects of Insulin Resistance: Hyperinsulinemia - Hunger.

A lot of people with Insulin Resistance don't like to talk about this. People automatically seem to assume that you just eat because  you're bored, and you gain weight. I've had dietitians when I was younger say I just ate too much. My entire life revolved around food for so long. So I would never admit when I was hungry. I would force myself not to eat when I was younger, even though I was absolutely starving, because I was under the impression that food was toxic.

There are so many directions that I could go, with this post. So I'll probably continue this, or maybe turn it into a series of posts.. Explaining different aspects of Insulin Resistance, and how it can affect your life. -- But where I'm going to go for this post is; Hunger. Why you are so hungry. (Or most people, anyway. Obviously not everyone has the same side effects all the time.)

This doesn't necessarily apply to me anymore, because of the VSG I had last year. I'm never hungry anymore. But I have dealt with this my entire life. I completely understand where people are coming from when they say they're always hungry.

So here we go. (Side note: I am not a doctor. This is just my understanding of the condition and how it works.)

With IR, you have high insulin levels in correlation with high blood sugar, after you eat. Hyperinsulinemia is the technical term for it. What causes high insulin levels? Your body's cells not reacting to the Insulin hormone your pancreas produces to help break down energy from the food you take in.. (Therefor, all the food is just stored as fat instead of used as energy.. explaining the whole weight-gain with Insulin Resistance.). Then, your pancreas produces more.. that your body still doesn't react to efficiently  So you have a lot of free-floating insulin.. and chances are if it hasn't already, your blood sugar is rising (and then will eventually drop rather quickly once your body realizes there is nothing it can do with it.)

One of the multiple side effects of high insulin levels, is hunger.

It's kind of a vicious cycle..

Make sense? -- Not the best chart type visual aid thing I've ever made.. But it'll do.

Your hungry, so you eat. Your blood sugar jumps, causing your pancreas to create more insulin (which your body resists.. It doesn't react to it. Insulin Resistance. The name is kind of self explanatory.) that wont work. Your blood sugar eventually drops, making you hungry again.. and it just repeats. and repeats. and repeats. 

How is this stopped/treated? Well. Weight loss is the main goal. Because a lot of the time, weight gain is what causes IR. Obviously, there are a ton of other factors. Diet & exercise are two of the main ways of treating this. For a lot of people that isn't enough though, and medications are involved. Personally, I've always been on Metformin. Since i was 8 years old. But I know there are other medications, if you can't tolerate Metformin. Talk to your doctor about it all. They'd have more information.

So I hope this helps some people understand the hunger that is correlated with IR.

I'll probably continue these with other symptoms/side effects of Insulin Resistance because there are so many factors involved that a lot of people don't seem to understand or get explained to them.

Let me know if you'd like to see more!

Have a good day. (:

-Ashley.

Article on Insulin Resistance 2

http://jcem.endojournals.org/content/89/6/2526.full

I strongly suggest anyone interested in the topic of Insulin Resistance, whether it be you're recently diagnosed, your child or a family member has it, or you're just purely interested in learning about IR; checks out this article. It's absolutely amazing.

I (surprisingly) understand most of the medical terms used. If you don't, feel free to Google them. But in all honesty, although the article is extremely long, it's completely worth reading if you want to learn about the medical side of IR (aside from the fact that you need to diet and exercise to control it). There is a lot more to it that most people don't realize.

I've been on a research kick lately, and I'm really glad I came across this.

Let me know what you think?

Alright, have a good day. (:

-Ashley.