Sunday, July 3, 2011

conversations

Today my friend instant messaged me. I had told her I was having weight loss surgery, a couple months ago. She didnt seem very supportive at first, because her mom had the RNY and things didnt go all that well.. Physically I believe her moms fine, but her mom just changed after surgery so shes not fond of it. now she seems supportive, but This kinda surprized me. No one has really asked me anything about it. People have told me their opinions and that they think its wrong. But she genuinley seemed to be curious. I didnt mind talking about it at all.. I mean, I have this blog right? Haha. Its just no one really has seemed to understand it, in real life. Shes taken an interest. I'm glad I feel liek I can talk to her about it now. Its not so awkward. (:



My Friend: I have a question o.o

ashleyellen1637: yeah?
 My Friend: I don't wanna sound weird or a dick anything with it in some way; but I kind of curious. Hah

 ashleyellen1637: alright o.o about what?
My friend: Your surgury Aha

ashleyellen1637: Lol alright, whats the question?
My Friend: Haha; you know after you lose all the weight how there will still be the extra skin left o.o

 ashleyellen1637: yup
My Friend: Are you going to have surgury to get rid of it or no?

ashleyellen1637: It depends how bad it is.. For younger people theres still a chance it'll go back. your skins elasticity or whatever isnt completely gone, like when you're older. But at the place i'm having the surgery, they offer free plastic surgery 18months after surgery if needed. So if i need it, then yeah I probably will.
My Friend:
Ohh, alright. Aha. I didn't want to sound like a dick in a way somehow asking it. I think it's great that you're having it done<3 But I know my moms self concious cause she didn't get the skin removed but I never saw how it looks if you get it removed. I'm curious. Aha

ashleyellen1637: Haha no you're not, it's fine. Ive met a few kids that already had the surgery in the same program i'm in and some of them didnt need plastic surgery and they look great. So idk if i'll need it or not. But yeah, haha.
My Friend:
Aha ohh, I got it. I wish I could do that:|

 ashleyellen1637: Haha yeah.. Do you really think you could need it? i mean, idk, but your mom had it.. if you think you could need it you should ask her about it.
My Friend: I mean, I just wish. Running sucks ass.
ashleyellen1637: Haha yeah it does.. ;l
 ashleyellen1637: I didnt mind it before. but now that im 100+lbs overweight, its hard.
 My Friend:
Can I ask how much you weigh? If it doesn't bother you. I feel like a dick asking

ashleyellen1637: Lmao you're not a dick. and i'm ehh around 250ish now.. Before I started pre-op stuff i was almost 280, like, back in january.
 My Friend:
Ohh, what kind of preop stuff?

 ashleyellen1637: Diet changes. High protein, low carb, no soda, nothing with much sugar. 5 small meals a day instead of 3 bigger ones. a few weeks from now i start pretty much all protein shakes except for one under 400 caloire meal a day. its really strict.. but it works. lol.
 ashleyellen1637: they do it so your livers not enlarged during surgery soi ts easier for the surgeon to get around.
 My Friend:
Aha damn. I'm not good with watching for low carbs and low calorie stuff. I mean, I feel smaller and better about myself; but I've only dropped like 3lbs

 ashleyellen1637: Every little bit counts.. when i see one or 2 pounds down i feel ecstatic. haha-- Cause i'm insulin resistance ive had to watch carbs and sugar and calories and fat since i was like... 3. Now its just a lot more strict ;l lmao. its second nature to me. i dont eat anything without looking at nutrition shit ;o it slike ocd ;l lmao
My Friend: I mean, I

My Friend:
I mean, I'm like 195ish. I'm gaining weight but losing inches 0_o

ashleyellen1637: Haha that's happened to me before. the weight just re-distributed itself to like my chest or my legs then my waiste got smaller. -- i cannot understand how that happens to save my life. but it does. lmao
My Friend: But my legs are smaller, my tummy is smaller and my boobs are the same sizeee

 My Friend: ;o

ashleyellen1637: your face, arms, ankles, neck, shoulders, all of those can accumulate it too. idk. if it didnt re-distribute, your magic. ;o
 ashleyellen1637: xD
 My Friend:
I'm thinner everywhere 0_o I mean I'm not gaining weight since I've started running again and shit. But since begining of freshman year, I've gained weight but got smaller.

 My Friend:
I went from needing a size 18 dress and it was tight, to now I tried on a 16 today and it was loose

 ashleyellen1637: Ohhhh well that makes more sense now. lol. well yeah if youve lost of course your gonna be smaller. and thats awesome (:
 My Friend: Aha; I feel better and smaller but ughhh -.-

 ashleyellen1637: haha theres more you can do besides running if you hate it that much. I always hated runnign unless i was playing soccer. lol
 My Friend:
I hate running but it's a good stress reliever too and I feel healthier when I do

ashleyellen1637: Any form of exersize makes you feel better cause it releases 'happy chemicals' in your head. haha. and yeah, it is. I wish i could run |: strictly because i miss playing soccer. I had to quit soccer when i was 13 cause i physically couldnt play anymore. it sucked ;l
 My friend:
Aha I've played soccor, softball, basketball, football, and I was a cheerleader and I swam. I've done it all but now I'm too fat to playy

 ashleyellen1637: Ugh I know what you mean. Soccer, Softball, Volleyball, basketball, football, swimming, tennis, dance, skateboarding.. I havent ridden a bike in 3 years. I honestly think if i tried to get on one id fall on my ass cause i dont remember how to ride one. lmao. i'm scared to exersize, honestly.. do you know what cardiomyopothy is?
 My Friend: Oh, I did volleyball, and tennis too but not for long. And I took dance most of my life. I'm going to start again. And you won't fall riding a bike Ash, you can't forget. Haha

 My Friend: And, I dont know

My Friend: Hey, I gotta go. Text me if you want<3

My Friend: Byebye

^^^
I ended up texting her and talking to her more about it all. and explaining cardiomyopothy and how part of my heart is enlarged already and how it scares me to exersize because of it.. My blood pressure issues and stuff like that.

It honestly felt good tot alk to it not to my mom or one of my moms friends that her big mouth blabs everything to. If you dn't, i suggest finding someone you can talk to aabout it.. Someone that may understand or has a better chance of it. i consider myself lucky i at least have her. (: aha.

i'll post more blogs later <3 i've been really sick this past week so i havent been on the computer much. I'll update more for sure (:

have a good day <3

-Ashley.

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