eventually slowly got down to 214lbs by late november, and i've been stuck there since... its now late january.
I missed my appointment with my endocrinologist. I haven't had any bloodwork done in awhile.. I'm starting to wonder if something needs changed..? I guess i'll figure that out when I go back to the bariatric team in a month. I emailed the nurse and dietitian, and was told to increase fluids and fiber and exersize... and i have. I've been getting an hour of exersize most days (6/7 days a wek) usually spread out.. close to 80oz of sf fluids a day... 60 grams of protein. 4 small meals, usually around 8oz or less..
For awhile I was bummed out... thinking I was stuck here... But what everyone says is right. it is just a tool. Surgery isn't magic. and I knew that, gonig into this. It's been a long five months.. and I'm sure it'll continue. But lets look at the +'s..
**My bmi is finally under 40!
**I can shop in normal stores now... I wasn't able to pre-surgery.
**Since this time last year, I've lost around 70lbs..
**i've nevver been able to lose and keep off more than 15lbs... ever.
**I've always been a healthy eater.. but even moreso, now.
**I can walk a mile without wanting to pass out.
**I have more self confidence.
**I've been getting out of the house more.
**I've been more motivated in just about every positive aspect of my life.
**I got off my anti depressants a week before surgery.. and I havent regretted that at all... I've been happy! (minus random anxiety attacks.. but I don't think those will ever go away.)
**I've been able to play soccer and footbal outside with my brothers.. somethign I havent done since i was 12..
Life is good! I'm ridiculously grateful for being able to lose what I have! and I know if i keep it up the weight will eventually come off.. I may have to change some things along the way, but right now?I'm really freaking happy.
A girl I used to be friends with commented on this picture on my personal facebook:
She said "I am really happy for you. Like honestly. You look amazing. I'm glad you shared your journey. And let me be your friend. Your a great influence." <-- quoted.
She is overweight too.. and found out she had insulin resistance this time last year.. I've tried to be a support for her.. yaknow? But me and her don't have a lot in common.. I've known her for about 3 years now.. and my parents would consider her a bad influence.. Given, i'm not stupid enough to do some of the things people have tried to get me to do... I just didn't really want to be around it.. I don't have many friends, becuase i'm not your typical teenager.. I'm not a pothead. I'm not into partying. I don't like big social situations.. I'm not even in highschool. Thatcan be a good thing, or a badthing... depending on how you look at it... But the fact that she said that..? Then she called me 10 minutes later and i actually answered my phone this time... and talked to her about it.. She was asking about the surgery i had and this and that... she told me what she's been doing and what not.. I've given her advice.. But i think she'sfinally startingto take it in.. yaknow?
So.. I'm glad she reached out to me.. and just the fact that she commented that made me feel great about myself. (:
So.... heres what my deal is now.. What i'm doing..
That's a picture I took today... The clothes are all literally falling off me.. bittersweet feeling.. (:
Surgical scars... barely noticeable... i know. not a pretty picture. but thats what to expect a little over five months out..
this is pretty much what i'm living off of... shrimp, grilled chicken, bariwise protein drinks, crystal light, sugar free hawaiian punch packets, string cheese, whole grain bread and crackers (occasionally.. not very often. it usually goes bad before i finish a loaf.), home made salsa, pistachios, deli meat (turkey and ham usually..), provologne cheese, all my vitamins and medications, yoplait light yogurt, and diet pepsi (diluted with water..) fruit 2-0,propel.... yeah. that's about it.
I cook a lot for my family... i made subs the other day. its cheeper than going to subway, for 5 people. :P but pre-surgery we'd have the bread... put turkey, ham, american cheese, provologne cheese, mayonaise, lettuce, bacon, tomato, and onion on them... and i did. i ate most of it without the bread though. and with all th eleftovers? i put some salad down, tore up turkey and ham, onion, tomato, some shredded cheese, and a little bit of ranch dressing... ate most the meat first,then a little ofthe rest. mmm.. yum. <3 i could live off ofit. i really could.
See where my thumb is...? its like inbetween a 2/3 and 1cup mark... thats about all i can eat, then i start to feel really full.... and chewbacca starts in.. :P
(A.N.: have I explained chewbacca on this blog, yet...? If not, here we go: 2nd day in the hospital when iwasfinally allowed to have 1oz of water... i took a tiny sip.. and my stomach started growling... my mom could hear it across the room... it wasn't a hunger growl. I don't know what it was.... but it sounded like chewbacca from starwars... i told chewbacca to shut the F up, hundreds of times within the next day or two i was there... :P and i still do... whenever i start to get full... it makes noises. so i've learned to stop before i'm full, so you don't hear chewbacca... haha. But yes. I've named my sleeve, chewbacca.)
If i'm not walking, this is what my exersize consists of... my punching bag, and playing music on the really cool looking stereo... or my laptop.. usually my laptop... but i think this thing looks cool. (': haha. I'll dance around and pretend i'm some awesome singer/guitarist person.. yes. i'm that cool.
Anddd thats me now, as i'm writing this blogpost. (:
That's about itttt! That's what I'm up to. I've been doing a lot of reading lately.. those books I mentioned in a past post I got at the library? I finished one last night.. i'm almost finished with two others.. theres a lot of really good information in there.. Sometimes I wish i had access to like a medschool library... this stuff really interests me. I don't know. Maybe i'm just weird. But i'll definatlly have more posts coming up about things i read in them..
I hope everyone's having a good day. <3(:
~Ashley.
www.twitter.com/justashley1637 (personal twitter)
www.justashley1637.tumblr.com (personal blog)
www.facebook.com/justashley1637 (facebook page)
ashleyellen1637@aol.com -- feel free to email me with any questions or concerns or anything related to this blog.. (:
also, i started a daily vlog... on youtube. This isn't really health related at all. But I've seen people do video diaries.. like. every day. for a year or hwoever long they decide to do it.. I thought I'd give it a try.. I love photography and blogging and what not, so why not take that a step further and videotape? Haha. theres a lot that you see like what i eat, medications, my random thoughs when i'm out on long walks taking pictures and getting exersize, whatever. then my family stuff. its really pointless. its just fun. its something to do. i just started it yesterday. so... we'll see how that goes. feel free to check it out ifyou'd like. (:
<3
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