Ahh It's finally summer time! Sorry I haven't been updating as much. I've been busy at the pool. (;
Anyways. It's almost 9pm. I'm bored. Figured I'd come on here and update.. and start a few posts that I can put up in the future.. so if I ever don't have any ideas, i can put one of those up and i won't feel guilty for not posting anything. (:
Currently I'm 197lbs. I broke the 200lb mark. So I'm happy. I've been at 197lbs though now, for a month.. I emailed my dietitian today asking what she thinks... And she thinks I'm not eating enough actually.. So I'm waiting on an email back from her to see what she thinks I should change.
I'm having issues with Metformin... It's really started bugging my stomach.. Something it never used to do. I've been on it since i was like 8 years old.. So it's surprising. I'm afraid to be off of it, or on a lower dose.. Because i tend to not lose weight when I don't take it... But The nausea/stomach pain isn't the only issue.
I've sort of become hypoglycemic (To have low blood sugars).. I haven't had a doctor confirm it for me.. But there are a lot of times that it gets really low.. A few times it's gotten into the 40's, which is really scary.. I mean I know how to get it up.. It just takes awhile.. and I mean, I can't eat a ton.. So it's hard to manage it right.. If i get down to 40 something.. I know i need to eat something sugary or simple carbs.. along with protein/complex carb to get it back up... and keep it up. I don't enjoy math. I've never liked it or been good at it. It's a pain in the ass. & That is pretty much what it is.. trying to squeeze all of that into 4-8oz depending on what it is, is kind of hard.. Especially when you're shaking so much from it being low, you can't hold a glass of lemonade without it dropping and/or spilling..
So yes, that's very frustrating.. But I'm working on it. It's getting easier to manage.
I also need to figure out what's going on with my PCOS... The pill (birth control) pill I'm on is constantly changing.. and the one I'm on now isn't strong enough. I break through. So.. That's something else I need to bring up with my doctor. But I've been regular.. Which I never have been in my entire life. I hardly ever had it before.. So.. bittersweet thing. :P
I will admit I have had drinking issues.. Not alcohol.. :P I mean.. getting the minimum of 64oz of sugar free fluids in each day. I just don't remember! I'll go and take a few big gulps. then I'll feel full and bloated. set it down. and then forget to go back to it... I'm never as thirsty as i was pre-op.. so it's an adjustment. I've lost my thirst, along with my hunger.. Ha! Fantastic. anyways..
Food porn announcement!:
I'm a Mexican food junkie. I love spicy things. My dad and I went to this Mexican sports bar (Else's) the other day and I got this... This was the half. They had a whole option. Both were huge. I could only eat one slice.. but this chicken quesadilla was fucking amazing.. and stuffed with grilled chicken and cheese... really high in protein. and just flat out amazing. Pretty cheap too.. I will definitely be going back there.
Okay. food porn over. Back to the update.
Uhm... Exercise! Yeah. Let's start that.. I'm working out close to an hour a day... Going on walks/jogs.. and toning. I do palates and light weight lifting (3lb weights).. I do this 4-5 days a week.. and the other days I go swimming (and sometimes on the same day).. The pool i belong to is sort of like a mini water park.. there are water slides and a vortex pool and stuff.. lots of hills in the grassy area, steps, slopes, etc... Just walking in and out of the place is a work out in itself. And I love swimming. It works all your muscles. You don't really sweat.. or you don't feel it anyway, because of the water.. it's easy on bones/joints.. It's fantastic. and you don't really know you're working out when you do it. which is fantastic.
Surgical scars:
I know the lighting sucks.. sorry about that. But.. You can hardly see them. My stretchmarks I have are fading, and the surgical scars are fading with them. (Sorry there is one you can't see. it's in a really awkward spot. But it's the smallest out of all of them... and is the most faded. you literally wouldn't be able to see it at all.)
Lets see.. what else... Oh. NSV. (non-scale related victory).. there are actually few, which I'll put here.
Had a bonfire the other night.. 2 neighborhood kids were moving to Michigan (I live in Ohio).. So.. All the neighborhood kids were over. The 2 that were moving, plus 3 other kids.. plus my 3 little brothers.. and the drummer in my brothers band (the kid in the Nike shirt.. the other 3 kids in the picture are my little brothers.) They roasted marshmallows and made s'mores. (Yes.. I had one. Sue me. I regretted it twenty minutes later. I learned my lesson.) Quinn (brother on the far left) and tommy (drummer.. kid in the nike shirt. all the other kids in the picture are my brothers. (: ) and I all took turns with a guitar.. playing, messing around.. Kept the fire going for over 8 hours. (from a little before 7 till a little after 3 in the morning..) we were just fucking around.. having a good time.. The victory in all of this? I was actually in pictures... Usually I'm the one hiding behind the camera... But I actually wanted to be in pictures this time. Most the pictures I have of myself.. I trust myself to take, at the right angle, so I don't look bad, etc.. I'm really into photography so I know how to edit too, and all that.. Well.. not this time. I handed my $300 camera (carefully.. and hesitantly) to my little brothers to take turns.. and i ended up in some pictures.. that I didn't feel the need to edit.. Which is happening more and more lately.. Which is amazing. <3
Second NSV?
For over a year I didn't sleep in my room.. stuff accumulated... you literally couldn't walk 2 steps into the room without tripping on something... I had no bed. My friend broke it. I had a couch in there to use as a bed, but I couldn't fit on it.. I was so claustrophobic and my blood pressure was always so high.. I was so overweight.. i just felt tight and confined in the room.. so i slept on the couch out in the living room.. well... I finally got the motivation to clean my room last week... and actually sleep in there... and I'm not claustrophobic anymore. Oh. and I'm actually getting a real bed this weekend too. (; Life is good..
Last nsv.. for now..:
I played soccer for almost 10 years.. I quit when I was 13. I was closing in on 200lbs.. It was physically becoming too difficult for me to play and keep up with the other girls.. I was on 3 teams one year! A competitive select team, my school/church team, and a rec team... I loved soccer... I always have. It's honestly a part of me.. I still watch games. and play outside with my little brothers.. I'm looking into refereeing now. Well.. That bonfire I mentioned above? I was FREEZING. (another nsv.. no mater how cold it was outside.. i was hot. i never wore coats. now i get freezing so easy it's not even funny.. and i love it.) i went inside but all my sweatshirts i couldn't find because i had just cleaned my room! so they were all int he wash, with all the other shit i found. WELL. i found this hoodie on the top shelf in my closet... It was my old select soccer team hoodie.. has my last name on it and everything.. It used to be skin tight. So even when i was at soccer practices and stuff i wouldn't wear it... Guess what? it fits now. it's big. it's comfy. and i love it..... <3 I seriously almost started crying.. I miss soccer so much... I'm starting training now.. to hopefully try out again next season.. I miss it. and That is a huge goal for me.. to get back into it. it was my lifeline. It was how I took out my anger. Something I'll actually admit I'm good at. And i miss it. I will make that team again, some how.. some way.. <3
Alright.... Enough NSV's for now... anything else i can think of..
OH. okay. last thing. for now. Lose skin is getting really fucking annoying. I can't wait to have it all cut off.. The nurse prac. at the hospital doesn't seem to think I'll need much.. if any at all.. because i started at a lower weight than most their patients.. But... I know I will.. I keep getting cysts where the lose skin is. and it's annoying. and painful. I'll do a separate post in a bit about what I'm looking into.. PS wise.. But yeah... my legs are amazing. Years and years of dance and soccer and swimming and tennis... I've built up a lot of muscle.. and I've always tried to keep it. i like my legs. but when i sit down... it's just disturbing. my friend took this picture of me when i wasn't looking the other day:
You can see my thighs just.. flatten out. spread out. and over lap each other. It hurts to walk sometimes because the skin rubs together and what not.. I get rashes. It's a pain in the ass. Those bug me even more than my stomach... So yeah.
Over all.. yes I'm having some issues.. with the loose skin, low blood sugar, and some meds.. But. I"m happy! It's summer! I go to the pool a few times a week. I'm actually ENJOYING exercising.. something I never thought I'd say. yes. I'm eating too little right now.. But... even though its bad.. and this is probably a bad way of thinking... I almost see that as an accomplishment.. Simply because... It isn't the other way around. I'm not eating too much for once in my life..
Life is fucking fantastic. I can't wait to get to my goal weight.. I"m 57lbs away. And then get all this skin chopped off. and to be able to get this tattoo on my ribcage I've wanted forever... to keep training and get back into soccer..
I'm feeling extremely optimistic. And I'm happy. Loving life right now... VSG = best decision ever.
I love you Chewbacca. <3
-Ashley.
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