What is this blog about?

Some people ask me what my blog is about.. If it's just me updating everyone on how WLS went for me, or a place to rant about all of my metabolic problems, or if it's informational, etc..

Truth is, it's a combination of it all.

When I was looking into surgery, I wanted to see how the whole process was from a (teenage) patients perspective. Not doctors. Not adults journeys. Someone near my age, that had been through similar things.. But because this is such a new thing, there isn't much documentation or anything like that online.. (not to mention not much research done at all long-term yet.)

Then I realized how nice it would have been if I could have found information online with kids dealing with Insulin Resistance, Hypothyroidism, PCOS, etc.. But again, there isn't much out there.

When I was first diagnosed with IR when I was 6 years old, that was kind of unheard of back in 2000/2001.  It was damn near a miracle that the doctor we found at the time was there, because no one even hardly knew what IR was in adults, much less young children/teenagers. There weren't really support groups for this kind of stuff (there still really isn't.) and I had no way of meeting other people with it, or talking to anyone, or knowing what it was like for anyone else.

So no. This isn't just about the weight loss surgery I had in August 2011. That was originally why I started the blog, but it's spread to a lot more than that.

I do informational posts, because through talking to people that have had surgery.. I've realized how privileged I am to have the knowledge I do about certain health-related topics. How lucky I was to see a dietitian at such a young age, and understand how your body processes food, what you need to stay healthy, what to eat to lose/maintain weight, etc.. I knew how to read labels when I was 8 years old. I learned portion sizes, etc... all before I was 10.

Not just diet, but exercise too. And the whole biological side of things? Through doctors explaining things to me, and doing my own research because I'm interested in my health, I understand a lot more than your average person about these kind of topics.. And to be honest? I enjoy researching and learning more, and sharing what I learn with other people. Writing has always been something I'm passionate about, and so has my health. Being able to mix those two things is kind of amazing. Education is a huge part of this whole process of trying to get healthy. Everyone is constantly learning, that's kind of just how this works.. and some times it's easier to learn things in plain English (given, if that's your primary language) rather than the technical terms a lot of doctors use.. Which is what I try to translate, in a sense.

So yeah. The informational posts certainly drive a lot of traffic to my blog. So do the pictures I post. And that's kind of my goal.. I want to drive people here. I want something to catch someones eye, and they spend a time reading even just one of my other posts.

I want people to learn more about these issues, how they affect younger people differently than adults, and the toll it takes on them.

I want to be able to have people to talk to, or that I know understand what I'm going through.. no matter what stage they're in. If they were just diagnosed with IR, if they've had it 10 years, if they were born with it, if they were looking into surgery, if they've already had surgery, if they're struggling with weight loss and maybe they don't understand why... all of it! There needs to be some sort of support network for these kind of things.. It affects so much more than just your physical health. and I know from experience it means/helps so much more, coming from someone who has gone through it.. compared to a doctor who has only studied it, or an adult who developed these issues/had surgery later on in life, etc..

I want people who have no clue what the hell any of this is, or who don't understand why the hell a surgeon would remove 85% of a 15 year old's stomach, to learn something.. to become more aware of these issues.

I want someone who is overweight looking for answers to stumble across this and be like "oh. maybe this is what's wrong." and even if it isn't, it may have given them the motivation to go to a doctor and get tested, and then even if absolutely nothing is wrong.. They went to see a doctor who could help guide them and get them on the right track to losing weight in a healthy way.

In all honesty, I was that desperate 13 year old looking for starvation-style diets online and going to pro-ana (pro-anorexia)  websites when I was frustrated with everything doctors and dietitians had told me before, not working..This was before I got a grip and switched doctors, and got on the right medications, and looked into surgery. I knew I was IR.. I ate healthy, i exercised.. But I didn't know about everything else I had developed that was contributing to all of my excess weight. I wish I had come across something like this a few years ago.. it probably could have helped me a lot. But I didn't. Now I'm in a position where I've learned so much, it feels kind of selfish not to share it with anyone.. you know?

So yeah. That's it. I'm in the process of going through every single post I have and editing them, updating information, etc.. Because a lot of them haven't been updated since 2011 and a lot has changed. I never used to really pay much attention to my spelling/grammar errors simply because I never thought anyone would ever see this site. Which isn't true anymore. It's kind of embarrassing going back and seeing how many times I misspelled 'exercise' or 'vertical'. :P

I just wanted to post this.. More and more people are looking at this site now, and I figured I should mention what it's all about.

Bottom line is.. There is no support network for people who have all of these problems. Not just in-person support groups, because there usually aren't enough people in an area to start a support group. Everything these days is online, and I think if there was more information out there a lot of people would be a lot better off. I want to share everything I'm going through, because surgery-wise I want people to know what they're getting themselves into to make sure they're prepared, and metabolic-wise I want everyone to know they aren't crazy, these diseases are real, and with proper diet/exercise/medication combo they can be treated, or at least dealt with. People need to understand their options, and know what's out there. I'm a strong believer in doing your own research and getting more than 1 opinion from doctors. If you see something on here that catches your eye, google it, ask your doctors.. Clearly, I'm not a doctor, nor do I aspire to be one. I'm just a girl sharing what she learns with other people, hoping in some way it could potentially help someone, or make someone more aware.

Lastly, I just want people to know they're not alone.. I've felt alone my entire life, and sometimes still do, dealing with this. No one should have to feel like they're alone going through all of this, because you aren't. I promise.

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I hope you're all having a good day, and I'll update again soon! (:

-Ashley<3

P90x? What?

So, I've always had an issue with exercise tapes/programs. It's been a love/hate relationship ever since I was a little kid.

As I've mentioned numerous times before, my weight problems started literally when I was 2 or 3 years old. Therefor, dieting and exercise started as soon as it could. I was in exercise programs starting at 5 years old, and I was doing Richard Simmons Sweatin' to the Oldies tapes for half an hour to an hour a day..

Eventually we found more kid-oriented exercise tapes, and I got into the video game DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) which worked pretty well, but I got burnt out pretty quickly and hated them. I always preferred doing my own routines for dancing or trying to convince my parents to get a gym membership, because i hated staring at a TV for an hour a day, because I knew it was exercise. It felt like exercise. I would go on walks/jogs to appease my parents just to shut my mom up so I didn't have to do an exercise tape.

Well... After years of just doing things like that, obviously I'm not seeing many results.. I want to build muscle and lose weight quicker than I have been. So, even though I swore to myself I'd never do an exercise program again, I've decided to try p90x.

Not meaning do it for one day then quit. I mean... I actually want to complete the program.

Programs like that that are made for 90 days seem easier to me, because there is a goal. You can cross every day off that you complete it, and feel accomplished. It doesn't feel like it'll go on forever.

I'm on my 5th day now... and I can tell you, I'm amazed I haven't stopped. I've made it through every one so far. (However, I have had some issues with Yoga.. because I have tendinitis in my wrists, it's hard to put a lot of pressure on them on the floor things... So I've been replacing the yoga with cardio, and anytime there is anything that hurts my wrists, I just jog in place until the next move/etc..)

I'm really proud of myself. I thought I was much more out of shape than this, but I guess not.

No, I didn't buy the program. I'm dirt poor. No money. I'm trying to save money for college. But I found a YouTube channel of a man who has done Insanity & P90x, and he posted all the videos online... And I also found the workout schedule online, so that's what I've been following.

Channel with the videos: http://www.youtube.com/user/butterbrown1961/videos?sort=da&view=0&flow=grid

Schedule: http://www.p90xworkoutschedule.org/ (I'm doing the Lean option)

I can tell you my muscles are all ridiculously sore, and even the workouts that aren't made for cardio get your heart rate (or at least mine) up to 180 or so for the solid hour (or however long) you're doing them, which is exactly what I need.

I emailed my dietitian, asking if I needed to up my calories (because the average burned during these workouts is 500-600 per workout).. and she said yes, to up them.. Have a protein shake or protein-rich smoothie every day with the workout... So I've started doing that (despite how much I hate protein powder) and that's that. I've been having one after every workout, and to get all the calories I need in I have to eat every 3 hours... but it's worth it. so worth it.

I haven't lost any weight yet while starting the program, and I know when I gain muscle even if I'm losing fat, my body may change even when my weight doesn't.. and I'm okay with that. I miss having all the muscle I used to have.

So... yeah. that's that. We'll see how this goes, and I'll keep everyone updated. (: I'm determined to stick to this...

Hope every one's having a great day, and I'll update soon! bye. <3

-Ashley

Surgery Update! 18 months post-op.

Okay... I've been really bad at updating this lately. I'll try to get back into it, I promise! Haha.

I'll be 18 months post-op (VSG) in a week or two. I have my 18month follow-up appointment on February 21st. It's been a crazy year and a half... things are constantly changing.

My medications have changed a lot, a bunch of different times, after surgery. Weight wise, I go through stalls like every month.. but then i drop five pounds then i go through another stall.. Which I guess I'm okay with. It's better than nothing. I'm glad i'm still losing, because for awhile right after surgery I didn't lose anything because of medication issues.

Highest weight ever: 285lbs in 2010.
Weight on day of surgery: (08-19-2011) 250lbs
Weight today: (2-7-13) 185lbs.

So, I've lost 100lbs. Some of that pre-surgery, some post-op.. I'm not at my goal weight yet. I still have 40 pounds or so to go. I really hope I get there, asap. I've been working for this so long, I just really want to be there.

I don't want my life to focus around the number on the scale, so I try not to focus on that too much anymore.. Because I am healthier than I have been in a long time. But it's hard not to, when my entire life up until this point has been focused around my weight.

I'm having more issues eating lately, than I did originally post-op. I typically always avoid sugar/fat. Or I try to. I've never liked it. I was never allowed much sugar when I was younger, so I've always been in this mental state that sugar is bad. So the idea of even taking a sip of a regular coke, or a bite of a cookie, makes me sick to my stomach.. Therefor I never actually want to do that.

The only things that go over well 100% are fruits and vegetables, which sucks, because those don't have much protein. I have greek yogurt a lot, different cheeses.. skim milk (1% & 2% make me feel sick). Dairy is okay.. sometimes. But there are sometimes it doesn't sit well with me either. Meat-wise, shrimp usually goes over okay.. Deli meat can, like, sliced turkey or ham or chicken? Salami is okay usually. but more dense things don't anymore. It's hard for me to eat steak or a roast or something... Pork has never gone over well. At all. I can't go near pork anymore, haha.

So, I manage. It's just hard, because some days I can eat more than others, and some days certain foods sit well when the next day those same foods won't. So a lot of the time I end up feeling sick, because it's constantly changing.

One day I could eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast, greek yogurt and fruit for a snack, a couple oz of deli meat and carrots and ranch dressing for lunch, string cheese and some turkey pepperoni for a snack, and then have a small, or half of a burger (no bun, lean meat, homemade) with cheese and a small salad for dinner.. (total volume never reaching over 8-12oz for the most part)

Where the next day I'd feel absolutely terrible if I tried greek yogurt, or a bowl of cereal. Where I don't want to go near a burger, and the only thing I'm able to get down is a cup or two of vegetable soup and a few pieces of pineapple. One or two slices of deli-meat, if I'm lucky... That's all day.

It's confusing, and I don't know why it's like that. No one can seem to explain it. I asked my endocrinologist yesterday when I went for a follow-up, and she gave me a prescription for Prevacid to see if that may help.. So we'll see. But if it doesn't I'll probably end up with a referral to GI (actually, I think she ordered one anyway.... I'm not sure. I'll have to double check that.)

But regardless, I've been doing my best. Some days I don't get enough protein because of it. But I'm doing what I can. I really don't like eating though...

My hunger still hasn't returned since surgery. None. I have to remind myself to eat. I guess there could be worse situations to be in....

Medication wise, I'm on 75mcg Synthroid for my thyroid.. 1000mg Metformin 2x day for Insulin Resistance, and 50mg Aldactone 2x a day for hormones/blood pressure/diuretic purposes. and Ogestrel birth control for PCOS. I take a Multivitamin 2x a day, and Calcium citrate twice a day as well. I'm terrible with taking a separate vitamin D, but there is 800ui of Vitamin D in the calcium citrate i take, and my blood work seems to consistently come back just great vitamin-wise, so I'm not too worried about that...

Exercise wise, I'm doing good. (: In the post I made about motivation a couple weeks (months?) ago I mentioned a Tumblr I made for motivation, and I've found a lot of great exercise ideas on there. Different routines people have came up with, songs to exercise to, etc.. That are much more interesting to try than doing the same thing over and over again each day.

I really want to build up more muscle that I'm sure I lost. I used to be an athlete. I played a bunch of sports, danced, and had a lot of muscle.. My legs still do. but I'm not nearly as strong anywhere else, so I've been doing a lot with my resistance band. I only have 1 & 3lb weights right now. I want to get 5lb & 10lb weights. When I get some more money, we'll see. (:

I also made a playlist on YouTube of videos I found that have exercise routines.. The Livestrong YouTube channel has a ton!!

Overall, I think everything is going alright. I know it goes a lot worse for some people, so I'm okay with all of this. Nothing is easy. I'm used to this. It feels better knowing I'm working harder for the weight loss.. The chances are better that it will stay off because it's coming off slower, and I feel better about it... Because it has not been an easy fix like a lot of people say. I don't even like the word fix. Because it didn't fix anything. It's helped. But nothings fixed entirely. but I'm okay with that.

I just have to accept the fact that nothing comes easy, and I need to keep working harder and harder as time goes on, to get to where I want to get to.

I hope every one's having a great day, and I'll talk to you all soon!

Talk to me on Facebook or Twitter or Email me or something!!!! I'd love to talk to some more people. (:

Bye<3
-Ashley(: