Interesting exersize ideas.

I know its hard to motivate yourself to work out. Especially if you can't find a sport you like or a routine that works for you. heres a few ideas of things maybe you havent tried.

• Just Dance Videogames
• Dance Dance Revolution Videogame
• HipHop abs
• Playing Tennis
• Swimming Laps
• Just walking in a pool.
• Try to learn a new dance routine. Look up 'dance tutorial' on youtube.

If you don't have a lot of time on your hands, you could try a few of these:

• Inbetween commerical breaks, do jumping jacks or jog in place.. you could even jog in place while watching part of a tv show.
• Park farther away from the store or office or wherever you drive to.. take a far away spot in the parking lot.
• Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
• If you work in an office setting, once an hour take 5 minutes to stretch and walk around the floor a bit before getting back to work.

If you wanna hang out with friends, instead of going to a movie or dinner, suggest wakling around the mall or walking up to a smoothie cafe or somthing, rather than somewhere where you sit down and just accumulate calories.

Just a few ideas, if i come up with more i'll post them. (: Every little bit counts. Try to stay active.

<3
Ashley.

www.twitter.com/justashley1637
www.youtube.com/justashley1637
www.obesityhelp.com/member/ashleyellen1637
ashleyellen1637@aol.com


random picture:


It's been raining alot lately.. I love thunderstorms, but plain rain is annoying.. I want to go to the pool, but its supposed to rain alll weeeek. I wanna move to pheonix. -.- lol.

Just a word for the parents of overweight kids/teenagers..

I know it can be hard.. Seeing your kid go through things you may have gone through, or you know someone that has, or just the issues with being overweight.. Bullying, issues with finding clothes that fit, etc.. You probably want to help them in any way that you can.. ‘Tough Love’ some people call it.. Restricting them and forcing them to exersize and what not.. I know you mean well.. But I promise you It will only worsen things in the long run.. Maybe not physical health, but mentally.. It can hurt. It definatley will strain your relationship with your son/daughter(s) if they don’t understand why.. if they don’t want to get better themselves, nothing can make them.

When I was little, I had to start dieting and exersizing.. No other kid did.. I went to a private school.. I got made fun of horribly cause of my weight. I told my mom a lot of it.. But not all.. I haven’t told half the counselors I’ve had since, about some of my.. encounters with certain people. Its just something id rather not share.

I can easily say me and my mom don’t have the best relationship.. Lots of things have built up since, but it definatley started with me resenting her when I was younger.. She woud lock cuppords.. If I didn’t take my bloodsugar at the exact time she wanted or my pills, she would hold me down and force the needle on me. She would pull me away from friends or activities to do aerobics, because regular playing outside or sports wasn’t enough for a kid with Insulin Resistance..

I realize all of that now.. how important it was that she did all of that.. I would be so much worse off if I hadn’t been forced into all of that.. But it doesn’t change the fact I was never ‘normal’.. What is normal? I don’t know. There is no ‘normal’. When I say normal, I mean.. I never fit in. I was always the loner, something was always different about me compared to someone else. And growing up in such a small environment (small neighborhood, everyone knew everyone, small school, etc etc etc…), didn’t help.. everyone is different, but in that situation, I seemed like the odd one out.

No matter how many sports I played or how much time I spent swimming or playing outside.. It was never enough.. I specifically remember one time my family was spending all day at the pool, and my mom convinced the manager to block off a lane during adult swim so she coud make me swim like 15 or 20 laps.. Kids from my school were there.. It was humiliating trying to explain to the girls that bullied me my whole life, why I was swimming laps during adult swim.. And parents would come up nd ask, or lifeguards, or whatever.. It was hell. Honestly..

My whole point with this post is… You can’t win.. You may try to force your kid to dow aht you think/know is right for them.. But in the end, theres still a chance you’re wrong.. And even if your not, if youre too forceful about it, beware the long term psychological damage it can have..

My mom told me a few months ago how she was worried when she locked cuppords and stuff that I would grow up and be anorexic because when iw as younger I was only allowed toe at at certain times and was taught ‘food is bad’ etc.. I definatley went through a period where I had an eating disorder.. but after seeing a different counselor and seeing different doctors that was taken care of.. –but I don’t think tht had anything to do with my mom.. that hd to do with me being fed up with no amount of diet and exersize ever really working for me.. ever..

Don’t try to teach your kids.. They wont listen! I’m telling you this first hand.. I mean you can try, but it most likely wont work.. Let them have time alone with their doctors and ask doctors to talk to them about whats going on.. Let them feel like they have some control. Have them do research and look up stuff.. try to get them interested in their health. Don’t force it upon them. Cause ya gotta face it.. the day they turn 18 they’re on their own…  and they may just want to rebel more that very second and pig out and what not and anything you tried to force upon them will just be a waste of time and effort, and in the long run probably hurt them more.

You have to let them come to the conclusion themselves. And when they really realize whats going on, and what they want out of life, and whats important to them.. They’ll make the right decisions for them. You can’t protect them forever.

Personally, I would have never come to this realization if I wasn’t forced upon it on my own..  With my parents having their issues and I lost a LOT of friends over periods of depression.. Not that I had very many to begin with.. But still.. When I went to a doctor and they showed me the charts.. they showed me what was going on.. I had known all of this. I knew all of this was going to happen at one point or another. I knew I was going to be in early stages of cardiomyopathy and right on the line of type 2 and hypertension and what not..  But it had never been real to me.. it had just been my mom wanting to get her way and force it all upon me and make my life miserable, until the moment I realize I was fucking screwed and needed to get all this weight off.

I know you all want what’s best for your kids.. But you need to let them come to the realization themselves. Don’t single them out. If you want to go to extremes and lock cuppords and what not, don’t just do it for that one kid.. do it for all of them. If he’she isn’t allowed cookies, no one else should be allowed either. You have to let them make the decisions on their own. They need to build up the willpower and learn on their own, or it wont continue. They have to find their own motivation.

I know. I’m 15 and I’m saying this. I’m not a mom, I wont know until I am, blahblahblah. But I know whats worked for me, and a few other people I’ve talked to that have it.. and doctors even recognize no diet or exersize will work unless the person is motivated to make it work.. forcing your kid wont motivate them to do anything but rebel against you.

I hope this kinda gave some parents some insight.. and whatever you do, NEVER make your 6 year old do Richard simmons sweatin’ to the oldies tapes.. ever.. under no circumstances is that okay. Trust me. From personal experiences. Haha. alright. Byeee.

<3

-Ashley.

www.twitter.com/justashley1637 (beware. Demilovato obessed.)

www.youtube.com/justashley1637

www.obesityhelp.com/member/ashleyellen1637

ashleyellen1637@aol.com

Have a nice day. (:

So, I was going through my Facebook photo albums today..

I love taking pictures.. Unless i'm taking a picture of myself, i'm usually not in pictures, im the one taking them. I kinda want that to change.. But thats beside the point..

Back in the fall doctors were having me get tested for Cushings Syndrome. I had a lot of symptomes of it and what not. So i did a 24 hour urine collection and some blood work.. Turns out i didnt, and they later diagnosed me with pcos.. But i looked over my facebook pictures with my parents back then realizing how much i had changed in such a short period of time.. even from like august2010 - october2010, i looked so much different.. gained a lot of weight, 'moon face', buffalo bump between my shoulderblades on my back, losing more hair, etc.. my hormone levels were messed up.

I was doing that again today Just going through the years.. I have them organized by year. I got my facebook in 2009. I have albums 'Before 2008', '2008', '2009', '2010 part 1', 2010 part 2', and '2011' so far. I realized how much I've changed with how i have felt about myself.. I went through kind of a 'fuck the world' emo stage when i was 13.. Back when i quit soccer because i physically couldnt play anymre.. I was just coming out of a tomboy phase.. I've gone through a lot of 'phases'. I was a super girly little girl.. Once i hit 10 iw as a super tomboy for two years.. would never even think about wearing a bra or a girly tshirt, god forbid a skirt or a pair of earrings!.. I hit 13, i was emo. that was kinda when i started playing guitar too and really getting into music.. but i had my moments. I went through John Casablancas modeling and career center for modeling and acting classes.. Could have ended up signed to mtm, but i didnt end up doing it.. I had too much stress gonig on with my family. -- But yeah. then i went to really like rocker/punk-ish.. partly for a guy i liked.. haha. other just trying to rebel against my family.. piss my parents off. i dyed my hair alot and wore a lot of makeup.

Ive always worn a lot of makeup.. Starting when i was like 4 in dance recitals.. but that was it.. i started wearing every day in like ny second time ni 7th grade, and 8th grade.. when i was 13/14. I had makeup classes at JC, so i wasnt bad at applying it.. I look back at these pictures and seriously like.. my skin looked flawless. and i realize how much work i had put into that. the smokey eye, red lips, balancing it out, not both at once.. different colored eyeliner, eyeshadows.. I"m seriously thinking about entering cosmetology school.. lol. Ive also had a lot of different haircuts.. super long, bobbed, bangs, side bangs, tons of layers,  short 'emo' haircut that covered half my face witha  bunch of layers.. Now its kinda long and i have some sidebangs. I'm growing it out for locks of love.

ANYWAY, my point... Now that i know i'm having this surgery.. I've been losing weight on my own just changing my eating patterns in a way I never have before.. I havent lost a lot, but 20 somthing pounds.. i finally found a routine that keeps my skin looking halfway decent... I havent been wearing as much makeup lately. at all.

My friend tara used to make fun of me cause i had a makeup case bigger than the one in the hannah montana movie.. And not al my makeup fits in it. i still do, cause i change it up alot.. i have a shitload of makeup! but i dont use it as much.. I'm actually able to find random features i like about myself now.. My long (annoying) eyelashes. my eyes that ust happen to change colors like all the time. my nails can grow super long before they break off. stupid things like that.

The smallset weight loss can make someone feel so much better about themselves.. I dont think untill this year, i have lost weight.. since i was like 12. It feels amazing! Set small goals for yourself..

I know the other day at my appointment the social worker asked me what size i would like to get down to.. ow much weight i would like to lose, or what my goal weight is.. and to be honest?

Id liek to get down to a normal bmi.. which for my hiehg tis 140 somthing at the highest.

But, id be happy at anything under 200.. really. I remember how i looked when i was under 200.. I dont want to get down to a size 2! i'd be happy at a 14!

The main goal i want out of this, besides being healthier? Is to play soccer again.. I had to give up soccer when i physically couldnt play anymore.. I miss it so much. I played select.. where i had to try out to be on the team. and i still made it,e ven though i was ridiculousy overweight! I was good.. That is one thing i can actually admit i was good at.. I used to want to play soccer all through highschool and maybe go to college and play tehre too.. Thats not necesarily somthing I want anymore, ive explored my options for collge.. But soccer was my life.. literally.. for 10 years. I miss it.. Sometimes i think i would be so much happier if i never quit. I want to play again. and the first thing i do once i get under 200 lbs? Is try out again. I miss the team.. I miss playing.. I regret quitting, but i know i couldnt have continued.. i would have had a heart attack playing.. i could feel my heart through my chest.. couldnt run very fast.. i wouldnt have made it the next year cause i was slow.. but i love the game.. Its the only sport i enjoy watching and playing.

My whole point with this long post? is set realistic goals for yourself.. surgery or not! It will feel great when you achieve them quicker.. You can set more, along the way.. but start with smaller goals.

"If you really want to do somthing, you'll do it. If you don't, you'll find an excuse."

<3

~Ashley.

www.youtube.com/justashley1637
www.twitter.com/justashley1637 (beware.. huge demi lovato fan.. lol. #StayStrong.)
www.obesityhelp.com/member/ashleyellen1637

If you have any questions or suggestions youd like me to write about, or anything else, feel free to email me! ashleyellen1637@aol.com (:

Have a great day! Oh, and Happy Fathers Day to all you dads out there.. All the ones that have stepped up to the plate in rough times, and stayed there for their families.. Support, no matter in what form, is huge and means alot. Times are rough, but don't give up. ever. This is me and my dad on my first fathers day.. I was like 10 months old, aha. (: its inside a mini radio thing.

Long day at the hospital, and Update.

This was pretty much my day.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/justashley1637/sets/72157626859490203/

EKG/ECO, then meeting with nurse, adolecent medicine dr, dietitian, and social worker.. then i had a pulmonary appt. at 2, and we are calling on monday to schedule a sleep study.

The nurse said if everything goes right with insurance on the final letter they send out the day after my appt in july (July 21st), they usually respond quickly (i was pre-approved.. just final confirmation letter). and it should be within a couple weeks after the finall approval. leading into mid august to early september.. Which is good, because we lose medicaid in october.. lol.

I was freaking out over gaining a few pouds, but i didnt know what my exact weight was last time i was there.. which was like 255. i went down to 248, but back up to 255 before the appt. since i wasnt on metformin.. but since they didnt have documentation of the 248,its not a big deal. thank god.

I've been feeling pretty crappy lately.. med changes are really affecting me. but oh well. i should get used to that all by now.

---------------------------------

Had a pretty big blow up with my brother the other night.. I was tired, iw as at the hospital all day and had just gotten home.. hes overweight.. not as big as i am, but hes overweight. his bmi is like 30.9. but he plays a lot of sports.. He doesnt understand the hell i've gone through growing up.. How active i was, but i still had to do a solid hour of aerobic exersize and diet and all this stuff.. he compulsivley overeats and thinks that the stop&start sports he plays, really cancels that all out.. which it doesnt. and hes like 'wella t least i dont ahve to have surgery to lose weight' when in reality, he willif he doesnt start changing his ways.. hes about where i was at his age, but i was a bit shorter.. hes taller than me now. hes 12. I dont know. it resulted in a big argument and lots of fighting and just... yeah. it wasnt good. Hes a little egotastic 6th grader who thinks eh knows everything.. when reality crashes down on him, we'll see how well he deals with it.

-------------

blah. im still tired. i just got one of my smoothies from tropical smoothie <3 yum. although its raining and gloomy, the smoothie still tastes justa s good as when its sunny and im on my way to the pool, haha.

I'll do some more informational updates later. this is kinda just a filler. (: thanks for checking out my blog, everyone.


<3 Ashley.
www.obesityhelp.com/member/ashleyellen1637
www.twitter.com/justashley1637 (beware. i'm demi lovato obessed. lots of tweets about her. haha)
www.youtube.com/justashley1637
ashleyellen1637@aol.com

Have a great day. (:

Having an appt. tomorrow.

ekg/eco, pulmonary, then meeting with the team.. surgeon/dietitian/nurse/doctor/psych/etc...

im asuming its gonna be a combination of all of them, anyway. it has been the last 2 meetings.

One more month after this then my surgery can be scheduled. wooh! (:

I've been going kinda crazy looking at all my options the past two days.. Really. i thought i was losing it,but im aightt (:.

I got a notebook today. just a little one that im writing down things in.. like what i need to get pre-op/post-op, different protein shakes i try that i like, things to remember, questions for doctors, stuff like that.

lots of questions..

I've been obesityhelp.org a LOT lately, getting peoples opinions. I'm glad things are going as well as they are so far. I just really hope me gaining 2 pounds didnt mess anything up..

I gained 2 pounds a week or so ago cause i had to be off metformin for 10 days before my glucose test that i had on friday.. i gained the 2 pounds then.. /:

I've been trying to lose them sicnei got back on the metformin but it hasnt happened yet. i dont think it has, anyway. my scale isn't worth crap.

I got out my binder and have been reading more and more and more and more. lots of information ive been saving.

i'll probably bring my laptop tomorrow, and update fromthere. i'm probably gonna have a break in the day between the main appt and the pulmonary appt.

blahhhh. i dont' know what else to say, just a random update. i'll post more sensible things later.

byeee<3
(:

youtube.com/justashley1637
obesityhelp.org/member/ashleyellen1637
twitter.com/justashley1637
ashleyellen1637@aol.com

Second thoughts..

I havent scheduled the surgery date yet.. I probably wont get it scheduled till mid/end of July. I'm glad I have a month or so to think things through before getting the date set..

I've been a research maniac the past few months.. and I'm just now finding out about some options I didn't know about.. The DuoDenal switch is really making me think here.. I want to have the VSG. My mom wants that for me too. But I'm realizing restriction alone probably won't help my metabolic issues, as much as a malabsorbtion procedure could.. but i'm not 100% sure. On obesity help ive gotten a lot of differnt peoples opinions on different procedues.. Most seem to reccomend RNY or DS, given the problems I have.. And the few that dont reccomend it, dont because mal absorbtion could be hard given my age... I realize I'm 15.. I don't want to be on a strict vitamin regimen my whole life. Who does? But i'd much rather deal with that, than with the issues my obesity causes.. I know i can stick to taking the pills.. Ive done it on and off since i was 8 or 9.. maybe even a bit younger. I'm already on some vitamins now, pre-op.

I hate that ive only met with my surgeon once, and i only have one appt. a month.. It's not enough for me to get the information i need.

I would take more time, but the thing is, the insurance that is covering my surgery i lose in october! I don't have enough time to look into other places.. Cincinnati Childrens was the first and only place I've gotten a refferal to, and I didn't think much of it.. Now I'm realizing how many other options there are and Im extremely frustrated I don't have the time to look into it all! I don't want to make a mistake.

If I have the VSG, what happens if i lose somew eight, but not all the weight that i need to, and then i dont qualify for a revision to DS?

I don't want the RNY... I really don't.. I'd do it if it was my only option. But from what ive seen, the weight comes off ridiculously fast.. With any surgery weight comes off farily fast.. But I dont want to lose a bunch of weight.. My goal right now is to lose 110 lbs.. I don't care if that takes 2 years.. I just desperatley need a jump start. i need help to lose it cause clearly I can't do it on my own.

I understand my conditions.. But most of it all is just done with my own research.. I see doctors once every couple months, i go to a few.. But they never explain things very well.. Its just frustrating.

I have two insurances.. United Health Care won't cover me for it.. I'm not sure if its because i'm under 18 or if its my dads policy.. But they just wont. Caresource/Medicaid however will! But we lose caresource in october! So i'm kind of in a rush because once i lose it i wont be able to have anything done till I'm 16.. I dont want to rush into things.. But i dont want to lose my chance either..

Ugh. This is overwhelming. I want to get a second opinion from another bariatric clinic but i dont know if i can without a refferal.. I dont know if insurance will cover it.. I was talking to a nurse and they said that caresource understands the cincinnati chidlrens bariatrics program well, they've ahd a lot of people go through it with caresource so they respond pretty quickly and are quick to agree to it all and such.. Thats why i was so happy. But now i dont know if it would be that simple with a different clinic.

Ugh!!!!!!! This is seriously frustrating. I don't want the weight to come off ridiculously fast.. I'm doing everything at all possible to avoid ridiculous amounts of loose skin after surgery... i'm currently even doing weights and resistance stuff along with some aerobics... (with no results, weight loss wise.. as usaul), and i'm looking into creams and compression garments and stuff for after surgery.. my skin has been stretched since i was little.. i'm really hoping it can go back to normal.. But i'm not gonna get my hopes TOO high..

Its just.. a lot to take in.. If all else fails, i'll just get the VSG because thats what everyone seems to want for me and go from there.. But i dont wan't to be disapointed if it doesnt treat my metabolic stuff, which is the whole reason i looked into surgery in the first place.. my health.


If anyone has any suggestions please please please message me on OH, Youtube, email, somthing.. I could really use some advice. Thanks. <3

-Ashley
twitter.com/justashley1637
obesityhelp.org/member/ashleyellen1637
youtube.com/justashley1637
ashleyellen1637@aol.com

VVVVVVV

on a side note.. I miss this little kid. I have three little brothers.. This is the youngest, Nolan. He's 7. He'll be 8 in july. Definatley the one i'm closest to. Its weird. I see him and i'm not as stressed. Just cause he thinks about things so plain and simple... He gets stuff.. hes too smart for his age.. He'll randomly blurt out about how his friends parents are divorcing and they shoudl quit fighting cause its gonna be over soon anyway, and things like that. its insane. But yeah. He needs to come home. He spent the night at his grandparents last night. /: haha. I have so many pictures of him.. He loves my camera |: lol.

Fast Food Choices!

Everyones on the go. Always. Theres no denying it. So you cant help but go through a drive thru or grab smoothies with friends to catch up.. Believe it or not, there are easier ways to manage what you eat.. You have a right to know whats in your food, and what it can do to you. For a basic meal there certain carb/calorie guidelines some people follow.. Standard for me most my life was less than 60 carbs at a meal and less than 20 carbs at a snack. I used to count calories, but I kinda stopped that and just mainly focused on carbs. They seem to be more of an issue for me, aswell as getting in more protein. Here are some on the go suggestions for different places, that are probably better choices than other foods.. Some may surprise you. All meals are less than 60 carbs and all snacks are less than 20.

Breakfast:  Croissan’wich(any kind) and small hashbrown, and small orange juice from Burger King. Or 1 6inch breakfast omlette sandwich from subway(any kind), and milk. Or 1 bacon egg and cheese muffin, hashbrown, and small orange juice from mcdonalds.

Lunch: 1 snackbox of popcorn shrimp with cocktail sauce, 1 bowl of broccoli cheese soup, and a diet soda from long john silvers. Large popcorn chicken, Honey BBQ Sauce, and Macaroni and Cheese with water or diet soda from KFC. 1Chicken Quesadilla, or 2 crunchy supreme tacos from tacobell with diet drink or water.

Dinner: BLT Cobb  or Spicy Chicken Caesar salad and large Chili with diet drink or water from Wendy’s,  2 slices of any Pizza Hutt pizza, and diet drink or water from pizza hut. Or 1 medium beef and cheddar sandwich, and one small potato cakes with diet drink or water, from arbys.

Snacks: Grande Café Latte from starbucks. Cup of Chicken noodle, vegetable, cream of broccoli, or chili from tim hortons.  A low fat smoothie from Tropical smoothie, made with splenda! (my favorite is sunrise sunset :D) 6piece chicken rings with ketchup randh or barbeque sauce from white castle.

^^^

So I hope this helps you out a bit! You can go to resturaunts websites and a lot of times they’ll have the nutrition facts for you. If they don’t, they should. You cold send an email and request nutrition information if you want.

I got all the numbers from my carb counter book by TheCalorieKing. You can look at www.CalorieKing.com for more information.

Talk to you all later (: Bye. <3

~Ashley.

ashleyellen1637@aol.com

www.obesityhelp.org/member/ashleyellen1637

Check this out?

A friend I met on Obesityhelp.org, saw my blog and she put a post of mine on her website. Check it out? (:

http://www.formerlyfluffy.com/

Thanks Maria! (: --- http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/cupcake256/

<3 Ashley.

How I got to this point.

Alright, so basically this is just a post about how I got to this point. My journey so far.

When I was three, my Mom started noticing my yearly weight gains were larger than they should be.. She’s a nurse, so she got kind of worried and asked my doctor what she thought.. Every doctor she asked just pushed it off as if she was stupid. “Oh, just give her skim milk, instead of whole.” Or “Don’t feed her as much.” .. Which really got old after awhile. My mom fed me right, always made home cooked meals and knew what I was being fed. That wasn’t it. After years of arguing with doctors and such, finally Dr. Preudhomme came around.. He worked in a clinic at a local childrens hospital.. We got a refferall there when I was 5, and got tested for insulin resistance.. Sure enough, I had insulin resistance. And that’s where it all started. I’ve practically grown up at that hospital.. Although Dr. Preudhomme doesn’t work there anymore, he certainly changed my life with that diagnosis and working with me and my family for years.. I would be much worse off if it wasn’t for him.

Constantly growing up I had dieted and done different exersize schedules and tapes and such.. all Physician supervised.. I could kind of manage my weight.. but could never lose more than 5 or 10 pounds without gaining it back. My mom has thyroid issues, so she constantly got me tested for thyroid issues.. But I don’t have hypothyroidism.

I was the most active little kid.. I played soccer from the time I was 5 till iw as 13. Tennis for 3 years, basketball for 3, volleyball one year, I swam from the time I was 7-12. I danced from the time I was 3-12. I had lots of neighborhood friends I would play with. Riding my bike, skateboarding,  things like street football or catch the flag.. I have all of these great memories of it all.. But then it got ruined when I had to go in for an hour each day, because none of that counted.. on top of how active I was, ih ad to do an hour of aerobics each day. I was the only 7 year old I have ever known, that had to do Richard simmons tapes.. Sweatin’ to the oldies. It was terrible. But I sucked it up and did what I had to do.

I went to a private elementary school.. In 6^th grade I started switching schools.. I had been bullied all my life because of my weight. No one cared the medical reason behind it. And I got fed up.. so I started running from my problems.. And at the same time my family went into financial difficulties and we moved a few times.. I started losing friends.. And my parents separated.. All of middle school was spent in a deep depression with parents fighting, separated, me babysitting my 3 little brothers constantly. I was like a mom to them. I even retook a grade one year because I was always home with them.. it was messed up.. But let me ask you something. When you’re depressed, do you feel like working out? No. I just gained.. and gained.. and gained.  Lots of drugs and therapy has helped me get back on my feet again. I still have my moments.. But I’m mentally more stable than I was. But I let myself go..

Back in the fall in 2010, my mom came back after a three month ‘trip’ (I use that term lightly), and was shocked.. my body had changed.. I had no chin. My face was what I guess some doctors call ‘moon face’.. it was all round and flat and puffy.. I had a ‘buffalo bump’ behind my neck, inbetween my shoulder blades.. my body had just shifted.. I had a gap between my teeth when I was little that closed up on its own when I was like 12.. it was back.. (my dentist just said because of the weight my bone structure of my face shifted.. so now my teeth are messed up again.).. She talked to some doctors and found out about Cushings Syndrome, PCOS, and a few other things.. We talked to some doctors and got a referral to an endocrinologist.. Got some blood work done and saw a gyno.. Turned out it was pcos aswell.. And not long after that I was put on Blood pressure medicine. Things were snowballing at me. Now it wasn’t just the insulin resistance. Now pcos, and hypertension were involved aswell.

So now my kitchen has accumulated more medicine bottles, I see more doctors, and I’m just flat out more miserable..

By February this year (2011) I saw something on the news about teen weight loss surgery.. I just looked it up, not even considering surgery.. I had never even thought about it before.. I knew people that had had it, but they’re all adults… I came across Cincinnati Children’s Research Hospital, and their Teen-LABS study with teen weight loss surgery.. I looked at other websites, youtube videos, all of that.. and did my research before even mentioning it to anyone so I wouldn’t look stupid.. I knew I was young. I still know that. But I wanted to know what I was getting myself into beforehand.

I mentioned it to my mom first.. I just said ‘hey, did you know they do weight loss surgery on teenagers now?’ and she didn’t believe it.. I showed her. Not even saying I wanted it.. then the next day I remember asking her about it and showing her hwo I met all of the qualifications.. she agreed to ask my doctor about it.. then my dad is kinda a quiet guy.. I asked him,  but he never has much to say. He just goes along with whatever. But he seemed alright with it all..

My family doctor wasn’t very sure because of my emotional state the past few years.. She wanted my psychologist that I was seeing at the time to be on board, and the endocrinologist we started seeing.. So once we talked to my counselor and I went to my endocrine appointment.. My endocrine went ahead and sent a referral to Cincinnati Children’s.

It wasn’t too long after I got a packet in the mail for information to fill out to send back.. Copies of insurance cards, some forms, essay questions.. I filled it all out.. Being me, I didn’t bother asking my mom at first about the forms.. I knew my SS number, I know all the names of the medicines im  on, all of that. And my mom hates paperwork. So I was excited and did it all, then showed her to make sure it was all right.. And we mailed it back.

In that packet, was a bunch of information on the different surgeries. I looked over it all.. My mom didn’t like the idea of the VSG at first.. My endocrine liked the idea of the Lap-Band, and the RNY has the most research done on it.. It’s been around the longest. So that’s what my mom was for.. I was for it at first too.. But keep in mind, we hadn’t even met the people at first yet.. So we all just kept our opinions to ourselves for awhile.

At the initial consultation, They did some bloodwork and I met with a team of experts.. nurse, dietitian, psychologist, a medical doctor, and the surgeon.. I actually met another guy  and a girl that day that were there for consultations aswell. I didn’t feel so alone. It was great. Things went well, and we got back home ( I live about an hour from Cincinnati), at like 3 oclock. It was certainly an all day thing.

I got a call the enxt week saying they approved me.. I was so excited. They set up the next appointment, and I had to wait a month.. Anxiously.

From the beginning of that year when I started looking at WLS, to now, I have lost about 25 pounds. Weathers been getting better, ive been digging myself out of the hole I put myself in, and was able to do that.. But my bmi is still around 44 something at the moment.. (as of 6/13/2011).. I’ve been gaining/losing the same 3 pounsd back and forth the past couple weeks..

Anyway, from there I had my second appointment.. I met with the nurse practitioner, dietitian, and social worker.. Talked about things.. I got a binder with more information about surgery and pre-op and post-op things.. And got invited to a support group meeting with other teenagers that have already been through, or are going through the same thing I am. Unfortunatley we didn’t get to go to that, we got lost.. My moms gps broke.. /: But there wasn’t anything I could do about that.

At that appointment though, we talked about the different surgeries.. and My mom got sold on the VSG.. I already had beens old on it, thanks to my own research. So that decision was kind of made there.

We also talked about insurance things.. I have two insurances.. Medicaid(Caresource), and UHC (united health care). UHC won’t cover it.. But caresource is covering it in full, which I was so happy about. The nurse had mentioned to me how quick caresource usually responds, and that they require 3 months in the program before surgery.. which my 3^rd month will be july.. my appointment in july will be it. After that they send off a final letter to insurance, and once they reply, they set the surgery date.. Which they estimated to be sometime in august.

And that’s where I am now. My next appointment with them is this coming week.. I’m not quite sure what that will entail. I’ll update more about it after the actual appointment. But this is where I stand.

I was sick of the bullying.. I hate getting out of breath when just simply changing my clothes, or drying off from the shower.. I hate getting picked on by perverts.. Who like me because im fat. (trust me.. that’s happened too many times to count.. it doesn’t help that I look a lot older than I actually am.. and when they find out how old I am, apparently that just makes it ‘better’.. ew.)

I hate when I eat a salad (which I love.. I love salads!), that people look at me like im trying to starve myself.. because ‘fat chicks’ are supposed to eat burgers and fries and icecream and twinkies, apparently.

Its gotten so hard.. Ive gotten to the point extensive exersize hurts.. my bloodpressure goes up my joints hurt my chest starts to hurt.. so I get exhausted.

I have tried everything. Absolutely everything. Every possible diet and exersize plan.. My mom was never into commercial things, like jenny craig or weight watchers.. but everything I have tried has been watched over by a doctor closely.. and I just cant seep to keep weight off..

Surgery is honestly my last resort, but I’m so glad I have it as an option. I’m so glad I’m going to be able to have it. I’m so happy I’m going to get a second chance.. A second chance I never thought I would have.

Some of my family members think I’m crazy.. That I’m too young or wont be able to handle it.. These are the same family members that never thought twice about insulin resistance or depression.. they thought I was just a hypochondriac. So they’re opinions don’t matter to me. My parents and little brothers, and my 2 close friends are happy for me. I’m happy for myself. And that’s all that matters to me.

I know I can do this. I know with the help of this tool, the surgery, I will be able to get myself to a healthier place.. That is all I want. I want to be healthier.

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Sorry, I know that was kind of long.. But there wasn't really a way to shorten it up. So i hope that helped anyone who was wondering, understand how i got to this point.. How i got to making the decisions i have and where I'm at now.

Thanks for reading, and i'll keep updating as things keep happening.

<3 Ashley.

Glucose Tolerance Test.

I had a glucose tolerance test the other day. Its probably like my 9th one. at least. My first one i was like 6 years old.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/justashley1637/sets/72157626814179903/

^^^
That album pretty much shows you what the test includes..  (read the captions on the pictures. it explains alot more. ) Its pretty simple.. Its not bad. i dnot mind the test. i hate the stupid drink but i get over it. the only painful part is getting the iv removed, and its tolerable.

I had my kit on me, ive never actually known what my bloodsugars were during it, so i took my blood sugar a few times while just laying in the hospital bed.. an hour after i drank the nasty syrup stuff, it was like 378 i think.. I had already passed feeling nausious and sick and sweats and stuff.. i just felt completely delerious. I can feel the fluctuations in my blood sugar.. i feel shitty even if its higher than 170. or lower than 70 or so. its annoying.

But yeah.. just to give people the idea of what it is.. bEcause its a pretty common test, to test for diabetes, insulin resistance, and just to see where your levels are and such.

timeline:

6:00am - wake up & start to get ready.
6:40am - leave house.
7:00am - go to admissions, then the lab for 'finger prick'.
7:30am - go up to the unit where the test is, go to the desk and get admitted and get a bracelet.
7:40am - take you back to the room.
7:50am - take vitals. Blood pressure, temperature, pulse, etc...
8:00am - start the IV, and take first bit of blood.
8:20am - drink the glucose drink.
8:50am - first blood drawing, after the drink.
9:20am - second blood drawing.
10:20am - third blood drawing.
11:20am - fourth blood drawing.
11:30am - order food and eat.
11:50am - Remove IV
12:00pm - get discharged, and go home.

^^^^^ Thats for a 3 hour. if your having a 5 our 7 hour, add 2 more or 4 more hours and blood drawings. that was pretty much my day, and i got home by 12:30pm.

So yeah. thats about it. not much to it. (:

Hope this helps if you were getting anxious about the test or just curiuos to what it includes. so yeah. thats it. (:

<3 Ashley.

random happy note (:

ahhh. im finally not super white anymore. i got sunburnt the other day, and its fading away leaving me tann-ish. i love it. and i got a super cute swimsuit this year. the top was expensive, but well worth it. <3 anddandandandand im under 250 now (: i'm at 247. super happy.

http://flic.kr/p/9RYxHS (:

Eating Healthy 101. Tips and Tricks for the overweight teen.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/justashley1637/sets/72157626799848979/
^^^
Does your kitchen look like this?

Pretty much everyones ive seen does... lots of carbs, things people think are good for them but really arent, blahblahblahblahblah.

I've been seeing dieticians since i was like 4 or 5.. I know what im talking about.. not to sound big headed or anything, lol. just trust me, aight? (: I know im overweight and you're probably thinking 'oh, well this will get me no where.. look where it got her' buttt if your that quick to judge, get off my blog. kay? if youve read any of my other blogs, you and i both know theres more to it.

Anywho, tips and tricks. anything in moderation! Theres nothign wrong with having a popsicle at the pool or a scoop of icecream out with your friends.. Nothing at all! Just keep it down to only a couple times a week.

the biggest problem i see people have is portion controll.. When you pick up a bag of chips or a powerade bottle, do you look at the nutrition label? most people don't... its become a habit of mine.

say you take what you think would be a serving of chips.. even if you read the nutritian label, the amount on there is only for a certain number of chips.. if you have more chips than what it suggests, you need to multiply the carbs/calories/etc..

Drinks, heres somthing I want people to look at. I created an album specifically for food/drink related ideas and notes and stuff on my flickr. http://www.flickr.com/photos/justashley1637/sets/72157626800060747/  check out the descriptions on all the pictures...

(this is making me crave a smoothie at the moment.. im going to get onein a little bit. hehe xD)
anywhoo.

yeah. just goes to show, almost everything has sugar in it.. acceptions being water and flavored water.. even some flavored water has sugar in it though..

when i was little and hadnt found a diet soda i liked yet (im in love with diet pepsi now, but ive had to stop it for the surgery), i would always have carbonated fruit water.. they ahd it at the store. it was just like flavred water.. but carbonated. its a good alternative to regular soda.

okay, drink rant over. next:
EAT!
at least 3 meals a day.
Not eating can actually make you gain weight.

I'm gonna be honest, i've gone thorugh a  phase where i just wouldnt eat.. i was fed up with my weight and actually over the few months where i was struggling with an eating disorder, i gained weight... more than 10 pounds. i think it was close to like 16 or 17 lbs.. and that put me at 270 somthing.

Reason being? If you dont eat enough, your body wants to hold on to fat.. think of it as 'starvation mode'. your body clings on to every ounce of anything that goes into your body thinkingit may not get it for awhile and will need it to keep your organs up and runing and your body functioning normally.

ive since gotten back on a normal routine with my eating, 2 small meals a day, and a couple snacks... example:
breakfast: 2 pieces of whole grain wheat toast with peanut butter, and a glass of skim milk.
snack: protein water and granola bar.
lunch: small lean cuisine, usually under 400 calories and under 40 carbs.. and a flavored water or water. maybe a few chips.
dinner: 1 grilled/bbq chicken breast and a 1 cup of macaroni salad, a piece of water mellon and glass of water.
snack: yoplait light strawberry yogurt with granola.

^^^^ yum. <3 haha.
whenever i go out to dinner i usually get a salad bar or somthing like that.. soup/salad. by out to dinner of choice is panera, theres i deal i forget the name of where you get a cup of soup and half a sandwich for like 6 dollars.. i usually get 1/2 smoked turkeys andwich, cup of broccoli cheddar soup and an apple or the chips. amazing. <3

another tip:
when you get fast food, the salad isnt healthier than a burger, half the time.. look at what all is loaded on it, the amount of dressing and toppings and the portion!

its a myth that chicken is healthier than the beef. that is only true if you get grilled chicken! cripsy chicken is a big no no.



Basically: cut out sugary drinks, learn portion sizes, eat protein, and when you go out to eat watch what you eat! things can fool you.

i got a carb counters book from my endocrin.. id suggest trying to find one. it has names of lots of fast food places and shows the carbs/calories/fat for everything on most menues, along with regular store bought items. its taught me alot!


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I'll do a more updated version of this later, that is hopefully more organized and well thought-out. this aws kinda just on the spot.

peaceee~~.
snack:

Self Esteem, and random other thoughts.

Self Esteem.. Somthing I lack very much of, and I know lots of other people, regardless of their size, have issues with.. It really makes you think.

Personally, my self esteem has been knocked down my whole life. not just because of my weight, but just stupid kid things.. 'oh your hair looks stupid' or 'why dont you get a life, you loser?' And at the time i just kinda brush the stuipd comments off, but after awhiel they add up..

I've always been kind of a 'loner' i guess you could say. Ive always had health issues i had to deal with.. I remember in 3rd grade, my mom had my teacher keep a bag of these sugar free low carb biscotti cookie things.. so whenever a kid had a birthday and brought in a treat, i would have one of those instead of the treat.. and kids would make fun of me for it.. Then in 5th grade when a type 1 diabetic joined, i got made fun of more.. Cause they're like 'oh well your the fat one, hes not! you obviously just overeat' and stuipd things like that.. they didnt yet understand the difference betwen type 1 and type 2, and i never bothered to try to explain.

Lately I've done better with things.. I dont get made fun of as much because the people i hang out with (if any, im kindof an introvert), all have their own issues.. Everyone has their own issues, but some are more publicly known than others, i guess. People will say 'oh i love your hair' or 'your makeup looks so nice!' or things iek that, but ive mentally trained myself not to believe it from the time i started middle school, just because people usted to make fun of me and say those kind of things. I'm almost always down on myself. I mean sure, i can look in the mirror sometimes and say 'oh wow. i look halfway decent today' but when i get around a group of people im just automatically insecure.

I have this one friend, I'm not gonna mention names cause well, obvious reasons.. But i seriouslya dmire her. shes likea  year or so younger than me.. Shes also a bigger girl. She posted a picture on her facebook of her from about her mid-stomach, up, and she was wearing a bikini. and her caption on the picture was:  "I don't care what other people think; I'm just wearing a bikini with a tank top over it to swim this year♥ I don't care if I'm too fat for it; if you don't wanna see me in it, don't go swimming with me ~"

^^^^^ I wish i could say the same. I'm working on it. I'm not afraid to wear nicer clothes or stand out a little bit.. Seriously though, more people should accept the fact that a lot of america is obese. not just america, but the world. and we shouldnt be ridiculed cause of it. You dont know the reason behind why someone is overweight, or why someone has a stupid haircut or why someones a clutz or whatever someone gets made fun of for.. you dont know them!

Im speaking to myself as well, when i say we all need to accept ourselves. I realize i'm having this surgery. But i am having it for my health. Sure, theres the benefit of looking better losing the weight. But if that aws the only benefit of the surgery.. If i had no health problems, i wouldnt be having the surgery. i wouldnt have qualified and quite frankly i wouldnt have even thought of it if i wasnt so cared for my health. Weight isnt my only insecurity.. I'm short, i think i have a weird voice, my nose looks weird, i hate my bigger chest and my skin.. i hate my skin. but guess what? its who i am! i cant complain. I could have it a lot worse, img reatful id ont. and you should too! everyone has somthing to be greatful for. everyone has somthing they liek about them. Embrace it!

^^^^^^
Alright, enough on self esteem. just a random update on the doctor stuff:

I have a 3hr.Glucose Tollerance Test, tomorrow morning. I hate drinking the stupid stuff -.- Im so glad they got more than th eorange flavor now though.. i cant even come near sunkist without  getting sick, since i had that one time.. the lemon lime is a little more tolerable.. But still, terrible aftertaste and bleh D: i dont mind the needle or fasting or getting up early or even being int he hospital.. but the drink is the one thing i HATE about it. it seriously makes me sick. and i've been off metformin the past week.. My endocrin wanted me off of it a week prior to the test, so she coudl see my levels without the metformin affecting anything.. So thats been miserable. My sugars have been all over the place. /:

Uhm next week i believe is my next meeting with the doctors and nurses and dieticians and stuff involved with my surgery.. that same day im getting an ekg, ecocardiogram, and have a meeting with a pulmonary doc to schedule a sleep study for osa (obstructive sleep apnea). Thats going to be a long day..

Then later this month i have an appt. with my endocrin to see results of the glucose tolerance tset, andd discuss meds and such.. and then in july i have another pcyhiatrist appt. and other appts. with different doctors. So yeah.. my summer is full.

Not to mention i started volunteering at my local childrens hospital. I love it! i work mondays from 12-4. its the perfect place for me. the girl i volunteer with is really cool, too. i get to do research and clerical stuff, and take a video cart around to the kids in the hospital. <3 perfect place for me. lol.
anddd im in summerschool. 9-12 tuesday-friday. which sucks. But i just have to finish up two classes. and then i dont have to go anymore. since its all done on computers, i can work through it at my own pace, which isnt too slow. (: haha.

so yeahhh. just a random filler update and rant about self esteem.  i have no life this summer other than volunteering summer school and drs.. so if im not at the pool i'll probably be updating here (: so yup.

peace<3