I know it can be hard.. Seeing your kid go through things you may have gone through, or you know someone that has, or just the issues with being overweight.. Bullying, issues with finding clothes that fit, etc.. You probably want to help them in any way that you can.. ‘Tough Love’ some people call it.. Restricting them and forcing them to exersize and what not.. I know you mean well.. But I promise you It will only worsen things in the long run.. Maybe not physical health, but mentally.. It can hurt. It definatley will strain your relationship with your son/daughter(s) if they don’t understand why.. if they don’t want to get better themselves, nothing can make them.
When I was little, I had to start dieting and exersizing.. No other kid did.. I went to a private school.. I got made fun of horribly cause of my weight. I told my mom a lot of it.. But not all.. I haven’t told half the counselors I’ve had since, about some of my.. encounters with certain people. Its just something id rather not share.
I can easily say me and my mom don’t have the best relationship.. Lots of things have built up since, but it definatley started with me resenting her when I was younger.. She woud lock cuppords.. If I didn’t take my bloodsugar at the exact time she wanted or my pills, she would hold me down and force the needle on me. She would pull me away from friends or activities to do aerobics, because regular playing outside or sports wasn’t enough for a kid with Insulin Resistance..
I realize all of that now.. how important it was that she did all of that.. I would be so much worse off if I hadn’t been forced into all of that.. But it doesn’t change the fact I was never ‘normal’.. What is normal? I don’t know. There is no ‘normal’. When I say normal, I mean.. I never fit in. I was always the loner, something was always different about me compared to someone else. And growing up in such a small environment (small neighborhood, everyone knew everyone, small school, etc etc etc…), didn’t help.. everyone is different, but in that situation, I seemed like the odd one out.
No matter how many sports I played or how much time I spent swimming or playing outside.. It was never enough.. I specifically remember one time my family was spending all day at the pool, and my mom convinced the manager to block off a lane during adult swim so she coud make me swim like 15 or 20 laps.. Kids from my school were there.. It was humiliating trying to explain to the girls that bullied me my whole life, why I was swimming laps during adult swim.. And parents would come up nd ask, or lifeguards, or whatever.. It was hell. Honestly..
My whole point with this post is… You can’t win.. You may try to force your kid to dow aht you think/know is right for them.. But in the end, theres still a chance you’re wrong.. And even if your not, if youre too forceful about it, beware the long term psychological damage it can have..
My mom told me a few months ago how she was worried when she locked cuppords and stuff that I would grow up and be anorexic because when iw as younger I was only allowed toe at at certain times and was taught ‘food is bad’ etc.. I definatley went through a period where I had an eating disorder.. but after seeing a different counselor and seeing different doctors that was taken care of.. –but I don’t think tht had anything to do with my mom.. that hd to do with me being fed up with no amount of diet and exersize ever really working for me.. ever..
Don’t try to teach your kids.. They wont listen! I’m telling you this first hand.. I mean you can try, but it most likely wont work.. Let them have time alone with their doctors and ask doctors to talk to them about whats going on.. Let them feel like they have some control. Have them do research and look up stuff.. try to get them interested in their health. Don’t force it upon them. Cause ya gotta face it.. the day they turn 18 they’re on their own… and they may just want to rebel more that very second and pig out and what not and anything you tried to force upon them will just be a waste of time and effort, and in the long run probably hurt them more.
You have to let them come to the conclusion themselves. And when they really realize whats going on, and what they want out of life, and whats important to them.. They’ll make the right decisions for them. You can’t protect them forever.
Personally, I would have never come to this realization if I wasn’t forced upon it on my own.. With my parents having their issues and I lost a LOT of friends over periods of depression.. Not that I had very many to begin with.. But still.. When I went to a doctor and they showed me the charts.. they showed me what was going on.. I had known all of this. I knew all of this was going to happen at one point or another. I knew I was going to be in early stages of cardiomyopathy and right on the line of type 2 and hypertension and what not.. But it had never been real to me.. it had just been my mom wanting to get her way and force it all upon me and make my life miserable, until the moment I realize I was fucking screwed and needed to get all this weight off.
I know you all want what’s best for your kids.. But you need to let them come to the realization themselves. Don’t single them out. If you want to go to extremes and lock cuppords and what not, don’t just do it for that one kid.. do it for all of them. If he’she isn’t allowed cookies, no one else should be allowed either. You have to let them make the decisions on their own. They need to build up the willpower and learn on their own, or it wont continue. They have to find their own motivation.
I know. I’m 15 and I’m saying this. I’m not a mom, I wont know until I am, blahblahblah. But I know whats worked for me, and a few other people I’ve talked to that have it.. and doctors even recognize no diet or exersize will work unless the person is motivated to make it work.. forcing your kid wont motivate them to do anything but rebel against you.
I hope this kinda gave some parents some insight.. and whatever you do, NEVER make your 6 year old do Richard simmons sweatin’ to the oldies tapes.. ever.. under no circumstances is that okay. Trust me. From personal experiences. Haha. alright. Byeee.
<3
-Ashley.
www.twitter.com/justashley1637 (beware. Demilovato obessed.)
Have a nice day. (:
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